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Friday, October 29, 2004
Thoughts 102
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $3.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.
2. Isn't designating a smoking section in a restaurant like designating a peeing section in a swimming pool?
3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
4. What really is the sound of one hand clapping?
5. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
6. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
7. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano, called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
9. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
10. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
11. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
12. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
13. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks , so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
14. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
15. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive
17. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
18. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
2. Isn't designating a smoking section in a restaurant like designating a peeing section in a swimming pool?
3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
4. What really is the sound of one hand clapping?
5. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
6. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
7. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano, called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
9. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
10. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
11. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
12. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
13. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks , so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
14. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
15. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive
17. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
18. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
LS at 10/29/2004 11:24:00 AM
0 comments
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Please Sir can I have some more?!?!
Have been in a bad mood most of the week until now, it would have reflected in my speils.
Concious day at work, managed to get through a lot of work and come out chirpy even though it was 7:30pm when I actually left there.
Sam's big birthday was yesterday ---> HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
He is having a very large collabaration this Saturday which will no doubt end up with alot of people drunk and singing some stupid tune all night. Life's looking up, managed to overcome the dreariness of winter and constant wetness and cold by managing to laugh at things a lot more frequently.
Lindsey and I are looking to move out towards Clapham, can't going leaving my best house mate to herself. Reason = the two aussies are leaving back to Australia next week (Paul and Alex) and I don't think the place will be the same when they go. The four of us have got up to some serious drinking, laughing and show-biz quiz bonanza's and it will be a shame when they do leave (more drinking next Saturday).
Weekend planned as follows;
Friday : Meeting Lauren for drinks, then meeting Alberta for more drinks somewhere East of London, I think I'll be going to a opening of an art gallery.. (hehe laughing Lindsey is drunk and calling people freaks again on television... a lot of freaks on English television).
Saturday : Should be still in East London, heading to buy gift for Sam somewhere in Camden Town and come home get dressed for big night out with Sam in Wandsworth
Sunday : End up somewhere with a pasted mouth and hopefully go for a late lunch with someone
Monday : Drinks with Steph and Kirsty (Al if you read this, yes keeping them on the boil and come along, unless of course you are getting married to that Swedish gal)
Tuesday : Decided to get Paula to give me some inside information on work, so I'll be inviting her for dinner to see if I can make improvements on my work - she used to do what I do, so I'm going to try and find out what I can do to keep the approval rating up in the team
Wednesday : Unplanned
Thursday : Drinks with work
Friday : Unplanned
Saturday : Farewell drinks with Alex and Paul closeby home, I presume.
Sunday : Unplanned
See the reason why I have been angry is because I have been not going out as much! So I have decided to organise social life to full steam ahead, followed by continual bombardment of liver, kidneys and brain cells.
And before you all go, Luke get a grip! I have it again, firmly back on where it should be planned.
Sam: Thank you for making me laugh this morning, as that information, not matter if it's true or not has spurned me onto not thinking about it once again.
Bradders : Hope some fat minger buys your body for 100 quid tonight - I think he is doing some charity thing tonight.... either that or he has turned into a giggolo!
mum/dad : All good here, and no haven't rang Monica... I might actually fit that into my schedule weekend next.
Adam / Caroline : HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
James / Soly : HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO!
goodnight all!
Doesn't make a difference when they feel fine!
Concious day at work, managed to get through a lot of work and come out chirpy even though it was 7:30pm when I actually left there.
Sam's big birthday was yesterday ---> HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
He is having a very large collabaration this Saturday which will no doubt end up with alot of people drunk and singing some stupid tune all night. Life's looking up, managed to overcome the dreariness of winter and constant wetness and cold by managing to laugh at things a lot more frequently.
Lindsey and I are looking to move out towards Clapham, can't going leaving my best house mate to herself. Reason = the two aussies are leaving back to Australia next week (Paul and Alex) and I don't think the place will be the same when they go. The four of us have got up to some serious drinking, laughing and show-biz quiz bonanza's and it will be a shame when they do leave (more drinking next Saturday).
Weekend planned as follows;
Friday : Meeting Lauren for drinks, then meeting Alberta for more drinks somewhere East of London, I think I'll be going to a opening of an art gallery.. (hehe laughing Lindsey is drunk and calling people freaks again on television... a lot of freaks on English television).
Saturday : Should be still in East London, heading to buy gift for Sam somewhere in Camden Town and come home get dressed for big night out with Sam in Wandsworth
Sunday : End up somewhere with a pasted mouth and hopefully go for a late lunch with someone
Monday : Drinks with Steph and Kirsty (Al if you read this, yes keeping them on the boil and come along, unless of course you are getting married to that Swedish gal)
Tuesday : Decided to get Paula to give me some inside information on work, so I'll be inviting her for dinner to see if I can make improvements on my work - she used to do what I do, so I'm going to try and find out what I can do to keep the approval rating up in the team
Wednesday : Unplanned
Thursday : Drinks with work
Friday : Unplanned
Saturday : Farewell drinks with Alex and Paul closeby home, I presume.
Sunday : Unplanned
See the reason why I have been angry is because I have been not going out as much! So I have decided to organise social life to full steam ahead, followed by continual bombardment of liver, kidneys and brain cells.
And before you all go, Luke get a grip! I have it again, firmly back on where it should be planned.
Sam: Thank you for making me laugh this morning, as that information, not matter if it's true or not has spurned me onto not thinking about it once again.
Bradders : Hope some fat minger buys your body for 100 quid tonight - I think he is doing some charity thing tonight.... either that or he has turned into a giggolo!
mum/dad : All good here, and no haven't rang Monica... I might actually fit that into my schedule weekend next.
Adam / Caroline : HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
James / Soly : HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO!
goodnight all!
Doesn't make a difference when they feel fine!
LS at 10/29/2004 06:04:00 AM
0 comments
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Sunday, October 24, 2004
Brad falls down
Apologies for the lack in communication, I have really no excuse except I have not had the need to write up until now. Even though I feel I do not have too much to write about. My mind is clouded with common thoughts, which I really do need to write down, but won't be sharing with your sarcasm and wit. I will say I broke down after watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind... something I have not done for 8 months. It was something needed.
Last night I was at a high profile club, Abacus in the heart of the financial district of London. Where celebrities turn out and men dress like a million dollars. It was a good night mixing with some good friends and catching up with Sam, Brad & Wilco. Even though I got the odd stare from a girl, I knew that I wasn't in the league to talk about how much money I had in my pocket and what particular job I was doing. These types of places, are enjoyable to go to, but not the type of places where I think I am something. So I had a few drinks and danced until 2am with strangers. I will be modest to say I am quite the mover on the dancefloor... move over Johnny Travolta. ;)
Come closing time we had given up on the hope of seeing Brad again, as he was lost for about 2 hours, and was quite possible he went home with someone or something as he was pretty shitfaced when I did find in the first time. Collecting our jackets I turn to Wilco and say-
'Wilco check this joker out.' Pointing towards a man stretched across one of the coaches in the club, his leg half off the couch and the other on, his shirt half open and his head to the side mouth agape.
Wilco laughs with me.. and then I squint and look a little more...
'Is that Brad Wilk's???'
'I thought he went home?!?'
'Ohh ... you sure that isn't Bradders???? Yes it is Brad!'
Brad must of heard us as he struggled to raise a hand, like a wounded solider in the middle calling for a medic. On this point Wilco and myself are laughing so much at him, that Brad manages to roll off the couch onto the ground. I pick him up while he saying
'Luke is that you??? My head hurts man... ohhh my head.. Can you call Tennis tomorrow... really man I need you to call them and tell them I'm not coming.'
Now taking Brad outside and having him puke in one of the classiest places in London is good, as I don't think anyone of the boys has done the public display of shitfaced around me. So I'm loving this and laughing at Brad, while telling the minicab drivers where to go stick their car-keys. Brad is whining about his head and work tomorrow and keeps falling down and lieing on the pavement. One of the girls we were with keeps saying she is 'totalled' and I keep telling her she is 'trolleyed', Sam and Wilco are trying to figure out a plan of action. Wilco and I decide that we split a cab home and Sam can take Brad! Smart thinking! :)
Alas 30 minutes later when Brad is fit for travel we all find ourselves sitting in a minicab driving to Brad's house. Brad has not finishing whinging about his head and about work tomorrow. We piss off the cab driver most of the way home, as he was too worry about Brad spewing into a Tesco shopping bag he had given him. We drop Sam and Brad off and Wilks and myself negoiate our way home with the cabby.
Bradders - you're drunk brain copes as follows;
You're lucky you have some good mates that look after you .. if only I had the camera!
Tonight was suppose to go to fancy dress party for some Finnish women's place that Little Al knows but I couldn't be bothered....
That's your update!
reminders:
Sam's birthday next week!
Meeting with Bert and Paul for drinks on Friday
Need to organise car for Scotland
Haircut tomorrow
Last night I was at a high profile club, Abacus in the heart of the financial district of London. Where celebrities turn out and men dress like a million dollars. It was a good night mixing with some good friends and catching up with Sam, Brad & Wilco. Even though I got the odd stare from a girl, I knew that I wasn't in the league to talk about how much money I had in my pocket and what particular job I was doing. These types of places, are enjoyable to go to, but not the type of places where I think I am something. So I had a few drinks and danced until 2am with strangers. I will be modest to say I am quite the mover on the dancefloor... move over Johnny Travolta. ;)
Come closing time we had given up on the hope of seeing Brad again, as he was lost for about 2 hours, and was quite possible he went home with someone or something as he was pretty shitfaced when I did find in the first time. Collecting our jackets I turn to Wilco and say-
'Wilco check this joker out.' Pointing towards a man stretched across one of the coaches in the club, his leg half off the couch and the other on, his shirt half open and his head to the side mouth agape.
Wilco laughs with me.. and then I squint and look a little more...
'Is that Brad Wilk's???'
'I thought he went home?!?'
'Ohh ... you sure that isn't Bradders???? Yes it is Brad!'
Brad must of heard us as he struggled to raise a hand, like a wounded solider in the middle calling for a medic. On this point Wilco and myself are laughing so much at him, that Brad manages to roll off the couch onto the ground. I pick him up while he saying
'Luke is that you??? My head hurts man... ohhh my head.. Can you call Tennis tomorrow... really man I need you to call them and tell them I'm not coming.'
Now taking Brad outside and having him puke in one of the classiest places in London is good, as I don't think anyone of the boys has done the public display of shitfaced around me. So I'm loving this and laughing at Brad, while telling the minicab drivers where to go stick their car-keys. Brad is whining about his head and work tomorrow and keeps falling down and lieing on the pavement. One of the girls we were with keeps saying she is 'totalled' and I keep telling her she is 'trolleyed', Sam and Wilco are trying to figure out a plan of action. Wilco and I decide that we split a cab home and Sam can take Brad! Smart thinking! :)
Alas 30 minutes later when Brad is fit for travel we all find ourselves sitting in a minicab driving to Brad's house. Brad has not finishing whinging about his head and about work tomorrow. We piss off the cab driver most of the way home, as he was too worry about Brad spewing into a Tesco shopping bag he had given him. We drop Sam and Brad off and Wilks and myself negoiate our way home with the cabby.
Bradders - you're drunk brain copes as follows;
- you're piss poor comedian
- have a poor sense of direction
- spew like a little girl
- whinge way too much about your head hurting
- worry too much about having to go to work tomorrow
- call everyone bitches - even the cabby!
- but manage to keep a smile on your face while some girl is talking to you.
You're lucky you have some good mates that look after you .. if only I had the camera!
Tonight was suppose to go to fancy dress party for some Finnish women's place that Little Al knows but I couldn't be bothered....
That's your update!
reminders:
Sam's birthday next week!
Meeting with Bert and Paul for drinks on Friday
Need to organise car for Scotland
Haircut tomorrow
LS at 10/24/2004 07:04:00 AM
0 comments
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Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Dubya
Before I start I strong suggest you read and follow up these things. My views could be biased, as you know that thing people ask if you ever had someone you would love to sit down and have a meal with ... Michael Moore... read on
I finally got a hold of Michael Moores Fahrenheit 911 tonight and watched it with Lindsey. It's amazing how you sit and watch something so far from your homeland, so distant from the fundamentals of your own government but something so inherrantly unjust that screams to you and makes you want to scream to someone else, to cause a chain reaction to let people know that we live in a world where people can become immoral, contain hypocrisy, lose their values and their ways and turn their own thoughts and ventures to greed over what could be the good for all.
Do I consider myself good? After watching what I have seen tonight and it is basically a loose translation from his book ( Dude where's my country?) and it is true that pictures speak louder than words sometimes, I feel that my soul is still intact and my heart still remains good. I have told a few people about where I would like to be, and I am hoping one day I will be a step closer to achieving this dream. I gave up years ago with the need to have possession and the need to gain wealth. I will not lie that I am happier when I have money and able to afford the night out and 3 square meals a day. I will not lie that I enjoy typing on this computer. I will not lie that I enjoy sleeping in my bed, and feeling the comfort of central heating, insulation in the walls and roof, having gadgets to keep me amused, having music to keep me entertained. I enjoy this as a possession because they are mine, but I am non-chalant if/when I would lose something (well maybe a little angry finding my lighter when I need to have a cigarette). But everyone reading this blog you are in the top 9% wealthiest in the world because you have access to a computer or own one.
I have digressed, I was going to say what I have told people. Enthused people, or just plain well made people think outside the square they live. One day I plan to be somewhere where I do not need possession, and I am doing something worthwhile to benefit a community which cannot afford running water or does not even have water. Give me a shovel and I'll dig you a well. This dream keeps me alive, knowing that I am getting closer to acheive this when I see things like what I have seen tonight makes me happier and more angrier and hungrier to make it. I really do hope one day I get there.
I could stand with a placard in the middle of Trafalgar Square prenouncing to the immediate citizens of London in my vicinity that the War in Iraq is America's New Vietnam, it is unjust, immoral and unbelievably FUCKED UP! But you must realise this, I could stand in a suit with this placard and people will look at me strangely, they will continue to move on, they will continue to go about there day, they will continue to go home and sit in front of there big ass television eating their sausages and match on their oversized portion of a beer belly and watch the Nightly News, Eastenders, Big Brother, Pop Idol ecetara ecetara! Who would come stand alongside me? Not many if any. We all have a worthwhile purpose to achieve to the greater good on this planet with the time we have.
Do I want to be old and dying and say to myself this question.
Was I good man? Have I been as just and lead a good life?
Not everything is black and white, read between those lines and think outside the square. I feel my heart can be tainted by this life in London, but I still have my values and I still have my charisma and I still have this dream which I clutch onto. I still have a family who support and I still have the friends who rally and I still wish Dubya Bush loses this election coming and dies of some nasty skin eating disease or one of his dogs eat him... feel the hate!
You want a genuine message. This is one.
Leaving you with these links ;
http://www.michaelmoore.com/ - Michael Moore's website, currently tracking Dubya's election and sticking it right up him.
http://www.michaelmoore.com/books-films/ - Michael Moore's book's and films. I strongly reccomend you watch Fahrenheit 911 and if you are willing - read Dude where's my country?
Stupid White Men and Downsize these are also great books!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/world/iraq/casualties/facesofthefallen.htm - 1102 as of today... sure they might just faces to you. Question why are they still in Iraq.
http://filmstripinternational.com/ - A site to have a laugh
I finally got a hold of Michael Moores Fahrenheit 911 tonight and watched it with Lindsey. It's amazing how you sit and watch something so far from your homeland, so distant from the fundamentals of your own government but something so inherrantly unjust that screams to you and makes you want to scream to someone else, to cause a chain reaction to let people know that we live in a world where people can become immoral, contain hypocrisy, lose their values and their ways and turn their own thoughts and ventures to greed over what could be the good for all.
Do I consider myself good? After watching what I have seen tonight and it is basically a loose translation from his book ( Dude where's my country?) and it is true that pictures speak louder than words sometimes, I feel that my soul is still intact and my heart still remains good. I have told a few people about where I would like to be, and I am hoping one day I will be a step closer to achieving this dream. I gave up years ago with the need to have possession and the need to gain wealth. I will not lie that I am happier when I have money and able to afford the night out and 3 square meals a day. I will not lie that I enjoy typing on this computer. I will not lie that I enjoy sleeping in my bed, and feeling the comfort of central heating, insulation in the walls and roof, having gadgets to keep me amused, having music to keep me entertained. I enjoy this as a possession because they are mine, but I am non-chalant if/when I would lose something (well maybe a little angry finding my lighter when I need to have a cigarette). But everyone reading this blog you are in the top 9% wealthiest in the world because you have access to a computer or own one.
I have digressed, I was going to say what I have told people. Enthused people, or just plain well made people think outside the square they live. One day I plan to be somewhere where I do not need possession, and I am doing something worthwhile to benefit a community which cannot afford running water or does not even have water. Give me a shovel and I'll dig you a well. This dream keeps me alive, knowing that I am getting closer to acheive this when I see things like what I have seen tonight makes me happier and more angrier and hungrier to make it. I really do hope one day I get there.
I could stand with a placard in the middle of Trafalgar Square prenouncing to the immediate citizens of London in my vicinity that the War in Iraq is America's New Vietnam, it is unjust, immoral and unbelievably FUCKED UP! But you must realise this, I could stand in a suit with this placard and people will look at me strangely, they will continue to move on, they will continue to go about there day, they will continue to go home and sit in front of there big ass television eating their sausages and match on their oversized portion of a beer belly and watch the Nightly News, Eastenders, Big Brother, Pop Idol ecetara ecetara! Who would come stand alongside me? Not many if any. We all have a worthwhile purpose to achieve to the greater good on this planet with the time we have.
Do I want to be old and dying and say to myself this question.
Was I good man? Have I been as just and lead a good life?
Not everything is black and white, read between those lines and think outside the square. I feel my heart can be tainted by this life in London, but I still have my values and I still have my charisma and I still have this dream which I clutch onto. I still have a family who support and I still have the friends who rally and I still wish Dubya Bush loses this election coming and dies of some nasty skin eating disease or one of his dogs eat him... feel the hate!
You want a genuine message. This is one.
Leaving you with these links ;
http://www.michaelmoore.com/ - Michael Moore's website, currently tracking Dubya's election and sticking it right up him.
http://www.michaelmoore.com/books-films/ - Michael Moore's book's and films. I strongly reccomend you watch Fahrenheit 911 and if you are willing - read Dude where's my country?
Stupid White Men and Downsize these are also great books!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/world/iraq/casualties/facesofthefallen.htm - 1102 as of today... sure they might just faces to you. Question why are they still in Iraq.
http://filmstripinternational.com/ - A site to have a laugh
LS at 10/20/2004 08:46:00 AM
0 comments
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Saturday, October 16, 2004
And away we go!
Friday and nearly time to release myself back onto another weekend from the stress and rigors of work. I have a glass of champagne in hand and counting the 54 minutes left to leave. Why the champagne? One of the consultant’s is leaving. We had quite a large one last night, celebrating his leaving (with him there), funny how people call it a celebration when you leave - is that because they are celebrating you actually leaving?
Headed home smelling like red wine and a worker from the Marlboro factory I slept like a dead horse and awoke to the sound of my alarm going off. Funny how you wake up, ripping the tongue back from the top of your mouth and say to yourself – ‘What the hell is that horrible racket?’
Breakfast made for you when you arrive on a Friday makes you always want to go out on a Thursday night.
Tonight I have the indulgence of going out with Alan, alas he is taking me to a double date, or something similar and he says ‘I forget what they look like mate, I was drunk when we met.’ So accounting the fact that when Alan is drunk and has loss of memory and the fact that beer goggles were a factor in getting their numbers, I am really not looking forward to meeting up with two of United Kingdom's finest (ie. Probably from Essex). Alas I will venture like Captain Kirk, and Captain's log it all tomorrow.
Diary input with Jan 25th being Green Day coming out to play, thanks to Sam for the organizing of tix.
As I said I have spent a year now here, and I am still needing to put up my year in review to y'all.
Saturday / Sunday will possibly be a little uneventful due to me requiring to save and me not feeling like venturing into the cold. Although of course that always changes I will probably end up in some bar/club/pub or institution.
Luke – Adverting my life for you!
Headed home smelling like red wine and a worker from the Marlboro factory I slept like a dead horse and awoke to the sound of my alarm going off. Funny how you wake up, ripping the tongue back from the top of your mouth and say to yourself – ‘What the hell is that horrible racket?’
Breakfast made for you when you arrive on a Friday makes you always want to go out on a Thursday night.
Tonight I have the indulgence of going out with Alan, alas he is taking me to a double date, or something similar and he says ‘I forget what they look like mate, I was drunk when we met.’ So accounting the fact that when Alan is drunk and has loss of memory and the fact that beer goggles were a factor in getting their numbers, I am really not looking forward to meeting up with two of United Kingdom's finest (ie. Probably from Essex). Alas I will venture like Captain Kirk, and Captain's log it all tomorrow.
Diary input with Jan 25th being Green Day coming out to play, thanks to Sam for the organizing of tix.
As I said I have spent a year now here, and I am still needing to put up my year in review to y'all.
Saturday / Sunday will possibly be a little uneventful due to me requiring to save and me not feeling like venturing into the cold. Although of course that always changes I will probably end up in some bar/club/pub or institution.
Luke – Adverting my life for you!
LS at 10/16/2004 02:23:00 AM
0 comments
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Thursday, October 14, 2004
Alas poor Yorrick
Reading the Metro today it was only fitting to see the Welsh local government spending an absolute fortune on teaching people Political Correctness and to stamp out some words which are being used. What I can recall was the following - nit-picking, bulldozer & manila. All these words have ties to some old language in life, which was news to me until I read them.
Nit-picking is related to lice treatment of slaves
In later news I believe the following will soon hit the streets of london and I'm going to have to go and get me a pair ---> http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsArticle.jhtml?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=6484724§ion=news
Been organising New Years eve with Bradders - so far 8 of the boyz heading up there to meet a few more people in Edinburgh for Hogmanay! Should be good, unless they cancel and we are stuck in a pub beating off slappers :)
Short and sweet... I bet this one isn't PC !!
Thanks to Sam for this marvellous calculation I have written into my diary;
What is a girlfriend?
Addition of problems
Subtraction of money
Multiplication of enemies
Division of friends
And since I haven't got too much to talk about, I wrote this dream down a while back and you can have a read, I do not dream as often as I should recall, and really find them interesting and somewhat humorous. Of course practically very personally people still find the tendency to discuss them.
8:14pm, Tuesday 31st of August
I was tired this afternoon and fell asleep on my bed for a few hours and I'm glad but this is what I dreamt.
"I was what seemed to be still in London but obviously was warped away during the start of the dream with my good mates. Kirt definitely was there, and I'm pretty sure Sam was there with a girlfriend. Kirt was always by my side, chatting and everyone was very aware of me and really happy I was with them. Where I was warped or seemed to come across because it looked like we were hungry was a McDonalds of some sort and I don’t think I got something to eat, (because what eventuated from my brain was something I thought I couldn't feel again.. love??) a slender 24-25 year woman sidled up to me as we were walking out and started chatting. She seemed also very happy to see me. She didn't look familiar although she did in another strange way. It was not a woman I feel I had met yet, but was beautiful and see seemed to fit amongst everyone else chatting and walking. I was not talking too much. Only talking when I felt it was ok. Kirt however said to me everytime from now until the end of the dream. 'Luke she is gorgeous, I really like her when she is not an animal' (I not sure if this was the right context of what he was saying, but I think Kirt was relating to an external and internal manifest of her being as well, I think he may have said I like her external nature but watch out for her internal being). I looked around when he said this one time and found she had transformed into a beautiful white wolf with grey tinge. (Now I am in love with wolves and think they are beautiful beings, they have this attractive state which also have this animal state that cannot be manhandle or controlled – also the manifest could be a sub-conscious telling me to go play some DAOC as I have been playing my hunter somewhat). I didn’t get her name throughout the whole dream. She starting talking to me and becoming quite affectionate towards me, not knowing her I became a little stand offish, seeing how beautiful she was I let her continue. She started saying to me 'I knew you would come back' 'You don't remember me do you?' 'Nevermind I am just so happy to see you after all this time' 'We both have had been seeing other people, but I came back to this stupid job and knew you would come back' This started freaking me out, although very proud to have come back for her, I feel I still don’t remember who she was and what she wanted. I felt a sense of I'm quite lucky and I never intended for this to happen but somewhere fate had involved itself. I don’t visit McDonalds very often and I never have worked at one. Maybe the manifest of McDonalds was incorrect and could have been KFC, but I definitely had no crushes on anyone at KFC (KFC = McDonalds rejects). We kept walking and she kept telling me how much she had missed me and she began holding my hand, my arm, hugging me and I began the same thing. It felt so right, even though I didn't know who she was or why she was with me, I felt lucky, I felt in love and it all felt so right. Kirt kept telling me how much he liked her, Sam was with me but had his own girl who sometimes spoke to this one I was seeing. (I'm thinking of naming her which could make my brain think about dreaming of her again). She kept saying she knew I would come back to McDonalds, as if I frequented this place or worked here, and she had taken on this dead end job just in the hope for me to one day pass through, but how could I when I was in London and knew I was then all of a sudden I was somewhere back home it seemed in Sydney. She then pulled me to one side and said 'Don't you remember at Camp *****' (Can't recall the name but she did say it and I'm angry for not having a lead to my dream) as soon as she had said that word, I had some type of flashback to days at a Camp or a retreat with me and a group of people laughing at a table and I looked up stared into her eyes and she also… FLASH back to dream at hand. I smiled and I thought this whole thing was a joke, until I kissed her. The whole dream continuing was a little fuzzy after that as I was waking up. Last thing I remember was she had a friend, a guy with dreads or something, white Caucasian about 22-24. He looked neutral to me. Then he said something. 'You're not me!!!'
I woke up!
Goodnight
I have a box full of dreams which I dare not open sitting on my floor, maybe one day I might wake up.
Nit-picking is related to lice treatment of slaves
In later news I believe the following will soon hit the streets of london and I'm going to have to go and get me a pair ---> http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsArticle.jhtml?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=6484724§ion=news
Been organising New Years eve with Bradders - so far 8 of the boyz heading up there to meet a few more people in Edinburgh for Hogmanay! Should be good, unless they cancel and we are stuck in a pub beating off slappers :)
Short and sweet... I bet this one isn't PC !!
Thanks to Sam for this marvellous calculation I have written into my diary;
What is a girlfriend?
Addition of problems
Subtraction of money
Multiplication of enemies
Division of friends
And since I haven't got too much to talk about, I wrote this dream down a while back and you can have a read, I do not dream as often as I should recall, and really find them interesting and somewhat humorous. Of course practically very personally people still find the tendency to discuss them.
8:14pm, Tuesday 31st of August
I was tired this afternoon and fell asleep on my bed for a few hours and I'm glad but this is what I dreamt.
"I was what seemed to be still in London but obviously was warped away during the start of the dream with my good mates. Kirt definitely was there, and I'm pretty sure Sam was there with a girlfriend. Kirt was always by my side, chatting and everyone was very aware of me and really happy I was with them. Where I was warped or seemed to come across because it looked like we were hungry was a McDonalds of some sort and I don’t think I got something to eat, (because what eventuated from my brain was something I thought I couldn't feel again.. love??) a slender 24-25 year woman sidled up to me as we were walking out and started chatting. She seemed also very happy to see me. She didn't look familiar although she did in another strange way. It was not a woman I feel I had met yet, but was beautiful and see seemed to fit amongst everyone else chatting and walking. I was not talking too much. Only talking when I felt it was ok. Kirt however said to me everytime from now until the end of the dream. 'Luke she is gorgeous, I really like her when she is not an animal' (I not sure if this was the right context of what he was saying, but I think Kirt was relating to an external and internal manifest of her being as well, I think he may have said I like her external nature but watch out for her internal being). I looked around when he said this one time and found she had transformed into a beautiful white wolf with grey tinge. (Now I am in love with wolves and think they are beautiful beings, they have this attractive state which also have this animal state that cannot be manhandle or controlled – also the manifest could be a sub-conscious telling me to go play some DAOC as I have been playing my hunter somewhat). I didn’t get her name throughout the whole dream. She starting talking to me and becoming quite affectionate towards me, not knowing her I became a little stand offish, seeing how beautiful she was I let her continue. She started saying to me 'I knew you would come back' 'You don't remember me do you?' 'Nevermind I am just so happy to see you after all this time' 'We both have had been seeing other people, but I came back to this stupid job and knew you would come back' This started freaking me out, although very proud to have come back for her, I feel I still don’t remember who she was and what she wanted. I felt a sense of I'm quite lucky and I never intended for this to happen but somewhere fate had involved itself. I don’t visit McDonalds very often and I never have worked at one. Maybe the manifest of McDonalds was incorrect and could have been KFC, but I definitely had no crushes on anyone at KFC (KFC = McDonalds rejects). We kept walking and she kept telling me how much she had missed me and she began holding my hand, my arm, hugging me and I began the same thing. It felt so right, even though I didn't know who she was or why she was with me, I felt lucky, I felt in love and it all felt so right. Kirt kept telling me how much he liked her, Sam was with me but had his own girl who sometimes spoke to this one I was seeing. (I'm thinking of naming her which could make my brain think about dreaming of her again). She kept saying she knew I would come back to McDonalds, as if I frequented this place or worked here, and she had taken on this dead end job just in the hope for me to one day pass through, but how could I when I was in London and knew I was then all of a sudden I was somewhere back home it seemed in Sydney. She then pulled me to one side and said 'Don't you remember at Camp *****' (Can't recall the name but she did say it and I'm angry for not having a lead to my dream) as soon as she had said that word, I had some type of flashback to days at a Camp or a retreat with me and a group of people laughing at a table and I looked up stared into her eyes and she also… FLASH back to dream at hand. I smiled and I thought this whole thing was a joke, until I kissed her. The whole dream continuing was a little fuzzy after that as I was waking up. Last thing I remember was she had a friend, a guy with dreads or something, white Caucasian about 22-24. He looked neutral to me. Then he said something. 'You're not me!!!'
I woke up!
Goodnight
I have a box full of dreams which I dare not open sitting on my floor, maybe one day I might wake up.
LS at 10/14/2004 04:26:00 AM
0 comments
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Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Unwell
Unwell today and have taken the day off work. I am feeling very exhausted with the amount of work and tension I have been feeling within the office, and it has taken its toll today.
Searching for a movie link for The Human Stain I accidentally bumped into a bizarre chatting area, which I watched for some time (does that make me a voyeur?). Obviously all young, and me wondering why the hell weren't they at school, I left before someone pointed a finger at me and said - Your old call the cops! It's not like I wanted to be there, it just so happened a stupid pop up link brought me there. Reading some of their text, and bleeping out serious eye burning material it was funny to read what you may have thought and said when you were a late teenager. I shall not be returning to the chat area, just bizarre.....
Wikers has got his music up quite loud at the moment, so I'm thinking of giving him a taste of some of my own. :) I've been streaming Triple J from over here and been really enjoying listening to the aussie station. Makes me smile when they go all aussie, it's good when I come home in the evening and it has the morning show on!
No observation today, because I have not yet to observe anything. Apart from seeing a very good consultant handing in his resignation yesterday to our MD. Sad, but I gave him the 'I know why you are doing it' nod.
Damn that music is loud!
Later gang
Searching for a movie link for The Human Stain I accidentally bumped into a bizarre chatting area, which I watched for some time (does that make me a voyeur?). Obviously all young, and me wondering why the hell weren't they at school, I left before someone pointed a finger at me and said - Your old call the cops! It's not like I wanted to be there, it just so happened a stupid pop up link brought me there. Reading some of their text, and bleeping out serious eye burning material it was funny to read what you may have thought and said when you were a late teenager. I shall not be returning to the chat area, just bizarre.....
Wikers has got his music up quite loud at the moment, so I'm thinking of giving him a taste of some of my own. :) I've been streaming Triple J from over here and been really enjoying listening to the aussie station. Makes me smile when they go all aussie, it's good when I come home in the evening and it has the morning show on!
No observation today, because I have not yet to observe anything. Apart from seeing a very good consultant handing in his resignation yesterday to our MD. Sad, but I gave him the 'I know why you are doing it' nod.
Damn that music is loud!
Later gang
LS at 10/12/2004 11:22:00 PM
0 comments
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Monday, October 11, 2004
Lazy weekend
Apart from my haphazard adventures on Friday night with the frivolous activites of grandeur with the boys, my weekend has ended with some significance that still I must go to work tomorrow but yet that I feel rested although a little weary.
Time is thought, and time wasted can bring thoughts, and I suppose I have had time to think over the weekend and reflect on the year which is just about to pass me, and hopefully tomorrow I can reflect somewhat more regarding this very thing.
Saturday was filled with none other than me in the house followed by again on Sunday. I was very exhausted on Saturday and had some invites, one a glitzy book launch with I suppose some football celebrities, another a birthday of a friends housemate that I know, and one other that was to meet up with Lindsey. Alas none appeal to me to leave the house, why? Maybe because I felt that I didn't need to go spend money, maybe because I was tired, maybe because I was comfortable. I did not go because I did not have a need to go, although I know I could have managed to turn up at all three and have fun. A weekend spent at home with oneself is good from time to time... however I did cook a Rogan Josh curry and at the moment it is repeating itself through an unrefined bowel movement which could and would empty a room.
I've been looking after my little Lindsey who has had a rough time, emotionally, over the past couple of days, I do not need to give detail, just that I'm glad she respects I am a friend of hers and probably a special one at that. She hung out with me all day today, even though I spent most of it playing on this computer while she slept in my bed. Comfort is to one I can give, it is something I am fond of giving to someone in need, a person to talk to, to laugh with or at, a shoulder to cry on or a someone to whine to. We hired some DVD's sat around in my bed and watched them til now. First a dismal performance with the Italian Job, second a stirling performance with The Human Stain. This is where I am going with tonight.
It is amazing how indifferent people treat one another, and not yet knowing them for who they really are. Judgement of one person through the ideals of a society and through the ideas of stereotypical output can bring people to hatred. Political correctness is taught to everyone these days, and continues to be taught to us continously, brainwashing the facets of our lives, a new word to use here and there, when really does it ever stop. Or do you ever stop to think where will you stop? Sure I respect the idea and the position PC has in our lives. We need to evolve and we need to believe that besides the inhumane acts we see and what is reflected within our lives that becoming enlightened with PC is true to form and become that 'upstanding citizen'. The Human Stain has taught me, even though it is a movie and has been a well written book, that some things in life are just too great to comprehend with people. Some things are better left untouched, and some things are so emotional that you are best just to walk away or live with it. I reccommend watching The Human Stain (Anthony Hopkins, Nicole Kidman directed by Robert Benton) and not to think of what I have written, but for once decide what is right and what can be wrong to form an opinion.
Sure you could read sometimes what I write and think, what a piece of piss. You judge me on maybe what I have written for the day, you may comment on what I have written throughout the week. I do not take it to heart, but alas I have some stupid opinions I write about, or just life experiences I express. Why I publish them online is really nobodies business but myself. I don't challenge anyone's right to continue to Box when I think it is brutal - am I ill informed? I do not challenge someones right to get up on stage and try out comedy, even though it could be in bad taste, or just not humorous - am I not getting the point? I do not challenge someones right who wants to make a new word for something as it may sound offensive to someone - will I also change the word for my own good?
Question everything but do not challenge everyone.
Action is the enemy of thought.
Time is thought, and time wasted can bring thoughts, and I suppose I have had time to think over the weekend and reflect on the year which is just about to pass me, and hopefully tomorrow I can reflect somewhat more regarding this very thing.
Saturday was filled with none other than me in the house followed by again on Sunday. I was very exhausted on Saturday and had some invites, one a glitzy book launch with I suppose some football celebrities, another a birthday of a friends housemate that I know, and one other that was to meet up with Lindsey. Alas none appeal to me to leave the house, why? Maybe because I felt that I didn't need to go spend money, maybe because I was tired, maybe because I was comfortable. I did not go because I did not have a need to go, although I know I could have managed to turn up at all three and have fun. A weekend spent at home with oneself is good from time to time... however I did cook a Rogan Josh curry and at the moment it is repeating itself through an unrefined bowel movement which could and would empty a room.
I've been looking after my little Lindsey who has had a rough time, emotionally, over the past couple of days, I do not need to give detail, just that I'm glad she respects I am a friend of hers and probably a special one at that. She hung out with me all day today, even though I spent most of it playing on this computer while she slept in my bed. Comfort is to one I can give, it is something I am fond of giving to someone in need, a person to talk to, to laugh with or at, a shoulder to cry on or a someone to whine to. We hired some DVD's sat around in my bed and watched them til now. First a dismal performance with the Italian Job, second a stirling performance with The Human Stain. This is where I am going with tonight.
It is amazing how indifferent people treat one another, and not yet knowing them for who they really are. Judgement of one person through the ideals of a society and through the ideas of stereotypical output can bring people to hatred. Political correctness is taught to everyone these days, and continues to be taught to us continously, brainwashing the facets of our lives, a new word to use here and there, when really does it ever stop. Or do you ever stop to think where will you stop? Sure I respect the idea and the position PC has in our lives. We need to evolve and we need to believe that besides the inhumane acts we see and what is reflected within our lives that becoming enlightened with PC is true to form and become that 'upstanding citizen'. The Human Stain has taught me, even though it is a movie and has been a well written book, that some things in life are just too great to comprehend with people. Some things are better left untouched, and some things are so emotional that you are best just to walk away or live with it. I reccommend watching The Human Stain (Anthony Hopkins, Nicole Kidman directed by Robert Benton) and not to think of what I have written, but for once decide what is right and what can be wrong to form an opinion.
Sure you could read sometimes what I write and think, what a piece of piss. You judge me on maybe what I have written for the day, you may comment on what I have written throughout the week. I do not take it to heart, but alas I have some stupid opinions I write about, or just life experiences I express. Why I publish them online is really nobodies business but myself. I don't challenge anyone's right to continue to Box when I think it is brutal - am I ill informed? I do not challenge someones right to get up on stage and try out comedy, even though it could be in bad taste, or just not humorous - am I not getting the point? I do not challenge someones right who wants to make a new word for something as it may sound offensive to someone - will I also change the word for my own good?
Question everything but do not challenge everyone.
Action is the enemy of thought.
LS at 10/11/2004 08:33:00 AM
0 comments
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Friday, October 08, 2004
Sad
Just got this in the email from Mum... if she dies I'm going to go into complete depression for a week and howl at the moon. My dog will not die before I get home in March dammit Jim!
Thought we lost Lady the other day. Mitzy and her got out whilst we were working up the back, I walked around the street to no avail. Dad and I went out for a drive and told James that they will arrive home at some time. Well one hour or so later a call on the mobile, James said Mitzy arrived home by herself, so he thought he would go for a walk down to the creek. Mitzy intoe, he arrived at the creek no sign of Lady, but could see the water moving where it should not be, sure as eggs there was Lady. She has slid down the embankment and could not jump out of the water, hence wedge herself under a ledge and just stood there. James had to carry her out and home, wet, wetand in shock. We arrived home to find her around the side at the gate in the cold shivering. I carried her to the sun and patted her there, but she justwould not keep still. She continuously walks around and around the backyard,like she has dementia, no sure of where to go. When we go out of a morning we check to see if she is breathing. One morning she may not be, it is only a matter or time. She does not show any pain and still eats like a horse,but she is thinner. I think she is 15 years old now x 7 = 105 that's old in anyone's language. Be prepared when I tell you.At least with her being in the water her white cost is whiter. Mention smackoo and "get out on my way". :)
Thought we lost Lady the other day. Mitzy and her got out whilst we were working up the back, I walked around the street to no avail. Dad and I went out for a drive and told James that they will arrive home at some time. Well one hour or so later a call on the mobile, James said Mitzy arrived home by herself, so he thought he would go for a walk down to the creek. Mitzy intoe, he arrived at the creek no sign of Lady, but could see the water moving where it should not be, sure as eggs there was Lady. She has slid down the embankment and could not jump out of the water, hence wedge herself under a ledge and just stood there. James had to carry her out and home, wet, wetand in shock. We arrived home to find her around the side at the gate in the cold shivering. I carried her to the sun and patted her there, but she justwould not keep still. She continuously walks around and around the backyard,like she has dementia, no sure of where to go. When we go out of a morning we check to see if she is breathing. One morning she may not be, it is only a matter or time. She does not show any pain and still eats like a horse,but she is thinner. I think she is 15 years old now x 7 = 105 that's old in anyone's language. Be prepared when I tell you.At least with her being in the water her white cost is whiter. Mention smackoo and "get out on my way". :)
LS at 10/08/2004 10:14:00 AM
0 comments
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Give me strength
Long day at work and I feel drained emotionally and pyshically. It is hard not to be dragged backwards into the political struggles of a team-working environment, especially when you find more constraints you are faced with and the little stupid details which effect your work. Can't they let people do their work, without facing a struggle of someone neglecting to put their mug in the dishwasher, or needing to leave 15 minutes earlier to go meet their father, or not being able to amuse them with something throughout the day. I just found a new rule today that has been inflicted, anyone doing the early which is 8am start cannot go home at 5pm now, and must therefore go home at 6pm with everyone else. 10 hour days, I don't mind, I used to do them everyday, sometimes 12 hours.
Anyways I need some strength, had a real down the dumps day and want to go punch something really hard. Nothing has triggered it, just one of those days.
Last night was great, seeing Andy and his new place, haven't caught up since I left the support work I was doing with Adults with Learning Disabilities and it was good to laugh about situations you were faced in that environment, it could be that I just miss doing that type of work maybe.
Anyhow, I have 8am start tomorrow and have to cook for the team for breakfast (Friday special).
Boring blog.. sorry.
Anyways I need some strength, had a real down the dumps day and want to go punch something really hard. Nothing has triggered it, just one of those days.
Last night was great, seeing Andy and his new place, haven't caught up since I left the support work I was doing with Adults with Learning Disabilities and it was good to laugh about situations you were faced in that environment, it could be that I just miss doing that type of work maybe.
Anyhow, I have 8am start tomorrow and have to cook for the team for breakfast (Friday special).
Boring blog.. sorry.
LS at 10/08/2004 03:03:00 AM
0 comments
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Thursday, October 07, 2004
25 things that make you feel like a man!
1,OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands,open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work.
2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man.
3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.
4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.
5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction.
6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard.
7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.
8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".
9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like.
10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".
11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.
12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.
13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are fucked. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.
14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.
15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad.
16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?
17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.
18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.
19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See ya."
20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.
21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.
22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".
23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you mad, bint?"
24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right, I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized shit.
25, CALLING YOUR MATE A C**T - and punching him on the shoulder. Just a man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were in hospital".
Gotta love you and leave ya.. off to the pub ;) And I'm late
2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man.
3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.
4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.
5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction.
6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard.
7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.
8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".
9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like.
10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".
11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.
12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.
13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are fucked. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.
14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.
15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad.
16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?
17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.
18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.
19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See ya."
20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.
21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.
22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".
23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you mad, bint?"
24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right, I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized shit.
25, CALLING YOUR MATE A C**T - and punching him on the shoulder. Just a man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were in hospital".
Gotta love you and leave ya.. off to the pub ;) And I'm late
LS at 10/07/2004 05:07:00 AM
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Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Vino
I was going to write you some dismal life expression and tragic thoughts I have had tonight, due to probably thinking too much. But I won't bore you - why, because I found the avenue to not worry about it further.
I decided it was way overdue to contact home, so thinking that someone could possibly be at home at 8:45am in Sydney, I was therefore incorrect. So I sat there thinking who should I call before my brain burst's with the sudden emotion of high fidelity ( http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=high%20fidelity ) I was having and get sometimes with my life past and present....until this person springs to my mind, Kirt!
Waking him up from his slumber, all I get from the first instance of him grouchily saying.. 'Yeeh' (meaning hello in Kirt voice, and probably mine if I was woken up 2 hours after I got home from work) 'You awake?' I say.. what a totally stupid thing to say. People say these things without realising it don't they, of course he's awake. It's like when you walk out of somewhere and you come back into the room and state 'I'm back.' Or if you forgot your keys and you say 'Where would I be without these?'
Anyhow I say 'You awake?' and with typical Kirt humor which you can only grow to love, and him being one of the best mates put on this Earth to show me the enlightenment I need at such a hefty hour of the night and the slur of red wine in my veins --- 'You fuckn pommy barstard!'
Only a true friend will put him back into the place where he should be, and Kirt does that, bursts a bubble either positive or negativly charged and brings me crashing back to Earth with a sudden jolt. I don't presume I sound like a pom, but I will presume that it is possible due to the fact I spend 9-10 hours a day with them in a room, and calling a majority or them. So I guess you start pronouncing your words like the wankers anyhow... The Rrrrrrain in Spain falls mainly on the plain (roll your R's like a tosser).
On this note I remember that it's been a few months since I have spoken to Kirt, and it's good when you realise you have such a true friend that you don't have to worry about how long you have spoken to each other. Least the fact you catch up on exactly where you may have left off. True friends worry about each other, confide in each other, and spend a lifetime knowing each other. I truly believe that everyone evolves within the 'circles' of friends throughout their own lives, always meeting great people and losing contact within them because you find another group of great people. But the people who remain in your heart are the ones that connect to you, the ones you can spend a hour drinking, chatting or explaining things to and become true friends for that fact. Everyone has them, either it be their childhood mate, their work colleague who seems to know everything, their drinking partner at the local, their wife or husband or even that person which you never can really get a hold of when you want too.
Kirt puts me into perspective tonight, makes me realise I have some stuff to do, because he is coming to see me. I feel this a great privledge, as I was saying to Lindsey tonight (our weekly catch up) that it is rarely an instance where I may invite someone else out somewhere with friends of mine, but an usually the person that is asked to come along. You do not understand? Well thing is I believe that I'm one of those people that turns up to certain places and sheds a little of the light I have onto a party, sometimes it is bright (yes this is a metaphor and it doesn't shine out of my arse), sometimes it just is me just laughing in the corner, but I do connect with people. Rarely is the instance I would organise something for people, but when I do it happens well... see that... 'organise something for people'. Why do I organise it for people and not myself? It is not because I am still that 16 year old saying 'Nobody's is going to turn up to my party' and having a cry, it's just that I don't feel like being a centre of attention (so to speak). It's very hard to explain this in words, but it is a fact.
You know what I did for my birthday, even though I thought I might have a big one since I'm in London and organise something big for friends. I spent it in a pub with 2 work colleagues, and 3 of my housemates having a drink until midnight on a Thursday night. I did nothing for the weekend, it wasn't self pity, it was just that I couldn't be bothered celebrating... or was it that nobody wished to help my celebrate it more? I'm not caring about it... to a great degree. However I did get a great birthday present from someone.. mmmmm
People continue to say to me. 'Luke, when people meet you, they always enjoy your company. They say: Your cool, Your good looking, Your interesting, Your fun to be with, Your a great person. blah blah blah' It's really nice hearing this from people who have only known me for a short period, but they are just that circle of friends you come and evolve with (and no Lindsey you are 'True friend' also) .
It's people like Kirt who make you think no matter who you are, what you do, how many women you may score how popular or impractical you may become, how selfish you may perceive or how insecure you may believe, it's always that "You're still a fucking pom who watches that pansy wog-ball and can't believe you didn't watch the league grand-final, even though the doggies won and Fittler's a wanker anyhow"
Kirt you're a good mate and I look forward to spending Christmas, Edinburgh and fine times in Europe on the Contiki Liver/Kidney damaging experience.
AND NO I'M NOT GAY I'M JUST SENSITIVE ABOUT MY DO!
I decided it was way overdue to contact home, so thinking that someone could possibly be at home at 8:45am in Sydney, I was therefore incorrect. So I sat there thinking who should I call before my brain burst's with the sudden emotion of high fidelity ( http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=high%20fidelity ) I was having and get sometimes with my life past and present....until this person springs to my mind, Kirt!
Waking him up from his slumber, all I get from the first instance of him grouchily saying.. 'Yeeh' (meaning hello in Kirt voice, and probably mine if I was woken up 2 hours after I got home from work) 'You awake?' I say.. what a totally stupid thing to say. People say these things without realising it don't they, of course he's awake. It's like when you walk out of somewhere and you come back into the room and state 'I'm back.' Or if you forgot your keys and you say 'Where would I be without these?'
Anyhow I say 'You awake?' and with typical Kirt humor which you can only grow to love, and him being one of the best mates put on this Earth to show me the enlightenment I need at such a hefty hour of the night and the slur of red wine in my veins --- 'You fuckn pommy barstard!'
Only a true friend will put him back into the place where he should be, and Kirt does that, bursts a bubble either positive or negativly charged and brings me crashing back to Earth with a sudden jolt. I don't presume I sound like a pom, but I will presume that it is possible due to the fact I spend 9-10 hours a day with them in a room, and calling a majority or them. So I guess you start pronouncing your words like the wankers anyhow... The Rrrrrrain in Spain falls mainly on the plain (roll your R's like a tosser).
On this note I remember that it's been a few months since I have spoken to Kirt, and it's good when you realise you have such a true friend that you don't have to worry about how long you have spoken to each other. Least the fact you catch up on exactly where you may have left off. True friends worry about each other, confide in each other, and spend a lifetime knowing each other. I truly believe that everyone evolves within the 'circles' of friends throughout their own lives, always meeting great people and losing contact within them because you find another group of great people. But the people who remain in your heart are the ones that connect to you, the ones you can spend a hour drinking, chatting or explaining things to and become true friends for that fact. Everyone has them, either it be their childhood mate, their work colleague who seems to know everything, their drinking partner at the local, their wife or husband or even that person which you never can really get a hold of when you want too.
Kirt puts me into perspective tonight, makes me realise I have some stuff to do, because he is coming to see me. I feel this a great privledge, as I was saying to Lindsey tonight (our weekly catch up) that it is rarely an instance where I may invite someone else out somewhere with friends of mine, but an usually the person that is asked to come along. You do not understand? Well thing is I believe that I'm one of those people that turns up to certain places and sheds a little of the light I have onto a party, sometimes it is bright (yes this is a metaphor and it doesn't shine out of my arse), sometimes it just is me just laughing in the corner, but I do connect with people. Rarely is the instance I would organise something for people, but when I do it happens well... see that... 'organise something for people'. Why do I organise it for people and not myself? It is not because I am still that 16 year old saying 'Nobody's is going to turn up to my party' and having a cry, it's just that I don't feel like being a centre of attention (so to speak). It's very hard to explain this in words, but it is a fact.
You know what I did for my birthday, even though I thought I might have a big one since I'm in London and organise something big for friends. I spent it in a pub with 2 work colleagues, and 3 of my housemates having a drink until midnight on a Thursday night. I did nothing for the weekend, it wasn't self pity, it was just that I couldn't be bothered celebrating... or was it that nobody wished to help my celebrate it more? I'm not caring about it... to a great degree. However I did get a great birthday present from someone.. mmmmm
People continue to say to me. 'Luke, when people meet you, they always enjoy your company. They say: Your cool, Your good looking, Your interesting, Your fun to be with, Your a great person. blah blah blah' It's really nice hearing this from people who have only known me for a short period, but they are just that circle of friends you come and evolve with (and no Lindsey you are 'True friend' also) .
It's people like Kirt who make you think no matter who you are, what you do, how many women you may score how popular or impractical you may become, how selfish you may perceive or how insecure you may believe, it's always that "You're still a fucking pom who watches that pansy wog-ball and can't believe you didn't watch the league grand-final, even though the doggies won and Fittler's a wanker anyhow"
Kirt you're a good mate and I look forward to spending Christmas, Edinburgh and fine times in Europe on the Contiki Liver/Kidney damaging experience.
AND NO I'M NOT GAY I'M JUST SENSITIVE ABOUT MY DO!
LS at 10/06/2004 10:42:00 AM
0 comments
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Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Observations on the way home
- 3 Bums asking me for coin. They are now enjoying my cigarettes instead.
- 4 Tubes totally sardined before I get the fifth with a pregnant women
- 3 people getting here head whacked by closing doors and me sniggering at 2
- 1 person having foot caught and me laughing
- 1 Old man falling asleep on his bag while standing up and people watching him
- 1 Person picking his nose and examing, before noticing me and rubbing it on his suit
- 3 cute women in power suits, didn't notice me
- 10,000 zombie wage slaves looking into outer space
- One man nursing a broken cardboard box like a child
- A midget with a broken arm - hey you just notice them ok!
- My fly half unzipped (dammit) and trying to be inconspicuous
- Some guy with his headphones up to loud listening to some self help thing, I did happen to have my head next to his. I love it when this happens being 6 foot 4 and you bending your head down towards them, they just cower and I usually say in a lisp voice 'cozy isn't it' Freaks them out!
- A young guy in a suit picking his ears with his finger, sure that's ok... but smelling it. Realizing I sniggered out loud, he hopped it further down the tube
You know how smells remind you of places - I think I have written this before, but I will elaborate a little. I love the smell of a bakery, I remember being driven to my Nanna and Pop's in Camperdown, Sydney and we used to go past Arnotts, or walking past any bakery in the morning. Remember when you were a kid and you would walk into a friend's house and it smelt different, it didn't smell like yours even though you could never really recall what your house really did smell of, except when Mum was baking a slice. Butchers shop, you may cringe but I do love the smell of a butcher's shop when I was a kid it was more to do with the sawdust I think. Underneath my house in Merrylands, I just loved the musty damp smell of dirt and clay, hiding under there and playing with matches (no I didn't burn anything bigger then some paper) - I used to have this thing about charcoaling the edges of paper to make it look like a treasure map or something, looked cool until I melted some of the sole from my sneakers. New clothing, crisp clean and smells great. New car.. everything smells new and chemically and its just great.. until you take up smoking. Another you might cringe... smell of a puppy's breath, before they decide its fun to lick their arse or eat their feces, remember one of our dogs having a large litter and I had them crawl all over me and lick my face (I know my Dad would cringe at this, he has a phobia with dogs licking him).
Now you're saying where I'm going with all this... Some barstard farted on the tube, and sure it'll be ok if it was a fire and forget but this smell lingered like a homeless guy and your fresh packet of cigarettes. I think I busted a blood vessel straining to breath until I cracked it at the next station and said quite loud... 'You dirty fucker, get off the train whoever it was.' People actually stared at me like I did something wrong the entire way home. Don't stare at me, stare at the smelly barstard who decided it would be good to vent his Vindaloo!
Anyhow have to go see the housemates for our quiz night. We sit in front of quiz shows (I think it's Mastermind and University Challenge) and hurl terrible answers at the TV. Yeh it isn't nerdy, because I don't know jack when University Challenge comes on and starts talking about the Lavae of a Tropical Amazonian Catepillar .. not the rainbow variety though!
What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
LS at 10/05/2004 04:51:00 AM
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Monday, October 04, 2004
& I
I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame the earth seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy the air, look you, this mighty o'rehanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire; why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, how like an angel in apprehension, how like a God! The beauty of the world, paragon of animals; and yet to me, what is this quintessence of dusk. Man delights not me, no, nor women neither, nor women neither.
goodnight...
goodnight...
LS at 10/04/2004 10:31:00 AM
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Sunday, October 03, 2004
Bloodshot eyes on a Saturday afternoon
Found myself waking up near Canada Water (Surrey Keyes) this morning, had a couple of coffee's said my goodbye and came on home. Long bender last night. Climbed through my window again, hurt my head because I fell through it this time.
Remembered ->
Craig's in London, just spoke to him, so I'll be hooking up with him later in Oxford Circus for drinks with a few friends
Looking out the window and it's pissing down... welcome to Autumn in London again. Only 8 more days until I have spent my first year here.
Thought 101 from Friday
Is it an omen if I see mice? I stand on the platform at Green Park and see a little black sooted mouse scurry out onto the rail below me, people oblivious to the fact of it, or just not caring. It points it nose to me, sniffs and scurries back under the platform. 2 seconds later the train arrives. I see another one when I come home do the same thing. Sure it is a common occurrence within London and mice and rats run rampant I am sure of this, but who really sees them? The vermin that just do what they do best… whatever that might be. So I take this as an omen of some sort and I take it as a good omen, don't ask me why.. I just decided it would be. Here I was contemplating why people would dive from a platform onto the tracks while a train arrives and why being the big question here (as I had just read the other week that someone had lept in front of a train on the Piccadilly line - is a common occurance they even say, don't know if they still do as I remember hearing it once in December last year, 'Sorry about the delay in service as we have a Person on the tracks' and my mind does digress when I'm bored) , and I see this mouse. It can sense danger when it sniffs and sense the vibration of the train approaching but yet it still survives in an inhospitable place where not even the loneliest of society would think about escaping life to.
Did you hear about the man with no arms entering a wanking contest??
He didn't come anywhere.
Painful joke, yes I know!!
Remembered ->
- Going to The Real Greek in Farringdon for Birthday party for a girl, aroo Bert you shexy minx, I met breifly 4 months ago
- Going to a place called 'The Sheesh' - Cocktail bar which closed too early for me as I was on my third Cocktail on the list with Bert and a few of her girlfriends.
- In another place called 'The Pool' which played quite a bit of Garage and Reggae D&B, beats were semi-good, DJ had a Bobby's cap on his head with a Blue revolving light strapped to the top. Was packed got my glass knocked out of my hand twice in the first hour.... yes I was in a club standing/dancing on a pool of broken glass... ironic and classy
- Arguing with mini-cab on price (common occurance in London) but this one wouldn't budge from his 15 quid price. Thing with mini-cab drivers in London you come out of a club when it closes and they are all standing there waiting for you, not to mention walking up to you and hassling you for a Mini-cab, continuosly! Can be quite funny as people usually tend to take the piss out of them.
- Arriving somewhere in London
- Watching Groove Armada live at Brixton for about 15 minutes before we went to bed and made me wanting December to come a little quicker.
- Hearing this funky electro-tango by Gotan Project http://www.gotanproject.com/intro.htm , from Argentina. Was very good mood music
- Waking up in Surrey Keyes
Favoured Drink -> Whiskey Dry x 10+
Smoked-> My mouth feels like bottomless ashtray = too many
Bradders sorry I missed the little houseparty at yours.Craig's in London, just spoke to him, so I'll be hooking up with him later in Oxford Circus for drinks with a few friends
Looking out the window and it's pissing down... welcome to Autumn in London again. Only 8 more days until I have spent my first year here.
Thought 101 from Friday
Is it an omen if I see mice? I stand on the platform at Green Park and see a little black sooted mouse scurry out onto the rail below me, people oblivious to the fact of it, or just not caring. It points it nose to me, sniffs and scurries back under the platform. 2 seconds later the train arrives. I see another one when I come home do the same thing. Sure it is a common occurrence within London and mice and rats run rampant I am sure of this, but who really sees them? The vermin that just do what they do best… whatever that might be. So I take this as an omen of some sort and I take it as a good omen, don't ask me why.. I just decided it would be. Here I was contemplating why people would dive from a platform onto the tracks while a train arrives and why being the big question here (as I had just read the other week that someone had lept in front of a train on the Piccadilly line - is a common occurance they even say, don't know if they still do as I remember hearing it once in December last year, 'Sorry about the delay in service as we have a Person on the tracks' and my mind does digress when I'm bored) , and I see this mouse. It can sense danger when it sniffs and sense the vibration of the train approaching but yet it still survives in an inhospitable place where not even the loneliest of society would think about escaping life to.
Did you hear about the man with no arms entering a wanking contest??
He didn't come anywhere.
Painful joke, yes I know!!
LS at 10/03/2004 12:07:00 AM
0 comments
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Friday, October 01, 2004
Full Plate and Packing Schteeeeel!!!!
I managed to eventually lock myself out of my house this morning, it being 1am and me knowing that it would eventually happen as I lost my key two weeks ago and relied on the housemates to open the door, but I managed to climb through a window (after Carlin suggested it on the phone, as I rang her to see if she was home, she wasn't) and I think I sustained possible injury to the groin area ---- as if you didn't know, windows in England only open from bottom out and up and me being the size I am you could imagine me swearing and abusing the window frame to try and get under and over it. I did get to a certain point where I could not imagine going backwards as I would have permanantly injured myself... so in the words of Kirk. I boldly went!
Where will I start about Thursday's adventures? Should I start with my punctuality at work... no, because as you all know I can never keep a good timekeeping! Should I bore you with my day at work? No because it was work and really who needs to know! Let me start with me finishing work.
Being shattered (as I was tired and did work quite hard today), I decided about 5pm (one hour to go til home time) that the best course of action for me was to go home, make a nice dinner and relax and go to bed at about 10pm like a good little wage-slave! 6pm and time to go home!!! Today is rent day, and Tania (our Bewdiful, and I'm serious about this!, blonde South African, land-lady) collects the rent! Not like I look forward to giving her my money and the only thing I see from her smile is a nice little receipt and no pleasure, but it's the day to empty my bank account and continue living in this vortex of London. Digress!!! I head down to the ATM, otherly known as the Cashpoint in England, and withdraw the sum, pocket the huge cashish and head to the tube.... only to bump into a couple of work people walking towards me... Now Erin (5 foot American, niave, from Northern Boston, currently part-time admin in the office, drank toooo much alcohol last Thursday and I've been laughing at her ever since, affectionately known to me as Indy [as in Indiana Jones] because she is studying Archelogy, and always looks at me as Sex-on-a-stick) says to me "Coming for a pint!", alongside her is Paul (Oxford boy, Ginga!! - I mean serious Ginga!!, good sense of english humour, rolls his own cigarettes for some reason) nods in my direction "How 'bout eet." Now when this happens to anyone, they usually have the split second reaction to answer a simple yes or no, me I have it high-tuned into scenario orchestrations, door number 1 = Luke will have a few bevies and early retirement to home, door number 2= Luke will have too many bevies and wake up tomorrow morning on someones floor and continue to hurl abuse at the world, himself, life and the floor which probably gave him a bad back ache, door number 3 = Luke will have bevies, meet some people, one a very interesting Swedish nurse who is somewhat infatuated with the thought of rubbing oil into her......... CHER-CHING!!!! I turn and walk with them not saying a word, they laugh knowing I cannot resist the urge to finish the day off with a beer with the work-crew.
Sure it's all good and plane sailing. We have a round of 3 (me being the last to buy, because I didn't go by my 'How to be a cheapskape in buying rounds' -- soon to be told). Then Erin looks at me and says "I'm meeting friends in Tottenham Court Road, come along." Split second decision insues... Door number 1 = NO! Luke must go home, it's Thursday and he must remain a wage-slave to the rest of mankind (I'm slightly drunk by now) Door number 2 = Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm [hic] Door number 3 = Luke turns up to a barrage of looks and smiles from loads of poor university students who look at him in his shirt and tie and think --- Money, good looks, charm, Australian (yes it works), and CHER-CHING!!!
In walks Luke, taking the short road to the bar, as it is always good to let your invitee to go mingle with her friends before you come trotting along. Buy the drinks and head on over, more attention to you and less attention to you being - yes I'm a numpty and I don't know you all! So here's me standing at a table of about 15 people and eyes of women (it's true) fixed on me. Incoming smirk and the Joey 'How you doing!'
I fired on all 8 cyclinders, Navarone guns blazing, 500cc engine throttle to max and pushed little red buttons in the right places... nothing but net! Now imagine Luke with a open hand (got the image????) now imagine women eating out of it!! It only happens to men every couple of months, and when it does it feels like the world is at your feet and you have control. I walked away with a few phone numbers, a couple emails and I handed off my number to couple other's... these being the ones I was interested in. I seem to do that more these days, give my number to the girl I like as I have found if they do like me, they ring me... if they don't, well I don't have to think about ringing them to find out if they do.
---Carlin read this and says "Ohh my gawd, I never knew you were so vain!" She walks out the door after I typed this and says "Luke ... swear!" Now she is Saffa and they have their own stupid lingo, 'swear' being the meaning of you have no shame and you should get a grip or something like that......................... so I said " FUCK! "
Anyhow I'm drunk and going to go to bed.
Positive things done today;
-Called Adam during lunch break. Hello Adam and Caroline!!!!
-Got my dismal pay check
-Hopefully organised Saturday/Sunday with Sam and whoever to watch Hero!! RAWR!
-Shaved my nads (kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) ................. that's next week!
Regret is the most futile of emotion
Where will I start about Thursday's adventures? Should I start with my punctuality at work... no, because as you all know I can never keep a good timekeeping! Should I bore you with my day at work? No because it was work and really who needs to know! Let me start with me finishing work.
Being shattered (as I was tired and did work quite hard today), I decided about 5pm (one hour to go til home time) that the best course of action for me was to go home, make a nice dinner and relax and go to bed at about 10pm like a good little wage-slave! 6pm and time to go home!!! Today is rent day, and Tania (our Bewdiful, and I'm serious about this!, blonde South African, land-lady) collects the rent! Not like I look forward to giving her my money and the only thing I see from her smile is a nice little receipt and no pleasure, but it's the day to empty my bank account and continue living in this vortex of London. Digress!!! I head down to the ATM, otherly known as the Cashpoint in England, and withdraw the sum, pocket the huge cashish and head to the tube.... only to bump into a couple of work people walking towards me... Now Erin (5 foot American, niave, from Northern Boston, currently part-time admin in the office, drank toooo much alcohol last Thursday and I've been laughing at her ever since, affectionately known to me as Indy [as in Indiana Jones] because she is studying Archelogy, and always looks at me as Sex-on-a-stick) says to me "Coming for a pint!", alongside her is Paul (Oxford boy, Ginga!! - I mean serious Ginga!!, good sense of english humour, rolls his own cigarettes for some reason) nods in my direction "How 'bout eet." Now when this happens to anyone, they usually have the split second reaction to answer a simple yes or no, me I have it high-tuned into scenario orchestrations, door number 1 = Luke will have a few bevies and early retirement to home, door number 2= Luke will have too many bevies and wake up tomorrow morning on someones floor and continue to hurl abuse at the world, himself, life and the floor which probably gave him a bad back ache, door number 3 = Luke will have bevies, meet some people, one a very interesting Swedish nurse who is somewhat infatuated with the thought of rubbing oil into her......... CHER-CHING!!!! I turn and walk with them not saying a word, they laugh knowing I cannot resist the urge to finish the day off with a beer with the work-crew.
Sure it's all good and plane sailing. We have a round of 3 (me being the last to buy, because I didn't go by my 'How to be a cheapskape in buying rounds' -- soon to be told). Then Erin looks at me and says "I'm meeting friends in Tottenham Court Road, come along." Split second decision insues... Door number 1 = NO! Luke must go home, it's Thursday and he must remain a wage-slave to the rest of mankind (I'm slightly drunk by now) Door number 2 = Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm [hic] Door number 3 = Luke turns up to a barrage of looks and smiles from loads of poor university students who look at him in his shirt and tie and think --- Money, good looks, charm, Australian (yes it works), and CHER-CHING!!!
In walks Luke, taking the short road to the bar, as it is always good to let your invitee to go mingle with her friends before you come trotting along. Buy the drinks and head on over, more attention to you and less attention to you being - yes I'm a numpty and I don't know you all! So here's me standing at a table of about 15 people and eyes of women (it's true) fixed on me. Incoming smirk and the Joey 'How you doing!'
I fired on all 8 cyclinders, Navarone guns blazing, 500cc engine throttle to max and pushed little red buttons in the right places... nothing but net! Now imagine Luke with a open hand (got the image????) now imagine women eating out of it!! It only happens to men every couple of months, and when it does it feels like the world is at your feet and you have control. I walked away with a few phone numbers, a couple emails and I handed off my number to couple other's... these being the ones I was interested in. I seem to do that more these days, give my number to the girl I like as I have found if they do like me, they ring me... if they don't, well I don't have to think about ringing them to find out if they do.
---Carlin read this and says "Ohh my gawd, I never knew you were so vain!" She walks out the door after I typed this and says "Luke ... swear!" Now she is Saffa and they have their own stupid lingo, 'swear' being the meaning of you have no shame and you should get a grip or something like that......................... so I said " FUCK! "
Anyhow I'm drunk and going to go to bed.
Positive things done today;
-Called Adam during lunch break. Hello Adam and Caroline!!!!
-Got my dismal pay check
-Hopefully organised Saturday/Sunday with Sam and whoever to watch Hero!! RAWR!
-Shaved my nads (kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) ................. that's next week!
Regret is the most futile of emotion
LS at 10/01/2004 10:31:00 AM
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