So we arrived back last night, tired, hung over and feeling like we had just gone to war with an army of alcoholics... where in fact I think Kirt and I consumed more then anyone there on the tour suffice to say we were the alcoholics.

Yes there is the expression of there are 3 people that go on Contiki tours. The Culture Vultures - consuming as much arty farty tours and trying to take photo's of every statue and midget with an accordion in sight! The Shopaholics - buying everything they can get their grubby hands on, running up Daddy's credit card if need be just to purchase the Cuckoo clock which was made in Taiwan, but damn it looked good on the wall in St Goar, Germany! Then there is the Socialites.. drinkers, jokers and dancers who want to make every day a party day....

Another expression - Every day is a Saturday night and every morning is a Monday morning.

Last one - What goes on tour... stays on tour

Now I believe in the first 2 expressions .. however the last is something that I don't think I can hold too many secrets over... :)

So I'm going to try and fill you in with much detail on a blow by blow day by day encounter each day for the next 12-13 days (hopefully) and let you know what, when and how it happened... all incriminating evidence has been filed and made use of!

Day 1: London
Now there are possibly two things that I now never to trust Kirt with after Day 1. Organization (and this is not saying that I'm the best organizer in the world, and far from it) and Decision (ditto). Kirt managed to book a cab that never came (not his fault) however he didn't bother getting the cab's phone number, so we had to walk up to the minicab place at 5am in the morning to go scream at them. Suffice to say... when we did manage to arrive in Russell Square for our presumed 6am pickup that Kirt managed to say... 'Err Luke.. I read it wrong it's a 7:30am pick up'
It's cold and look at the 5:35am clock hand I manage to keep a smile and say... 'Right lets find some breakfast at least.' I was feeling like shit, coughing and spluttering and I knew that whatever was coming my way was going to make me a diseased human and I know getting on the bus would easily spread like wild fire.
We managed to find the dirtiest place known to mankind which said 'Fresh Hotdogs' ... they were hardly fresh and the pizza slices looked like they were processed from the nearest rear-end. Luckily the half stale sandwiches we consumed tasted ok... and we managed to get to our pick up point.
People standing around.... brain computing at the amount of women and the amount of guys... estimate about 60% women and 40% good looking.... with a quick jig on the spot and a smile to the nearest lady... 'This must be the Contiki pick up.' A shy smile and a nod or yes was all Kirt and I needed. However I managed to then go into a coughing fit and remove myself away from everyone.
Kirt overpacks with his enormous suitcase (23kg) and I pack 5 kg into my back pack (10.5 kg) we get our checked stickers and heave over to the bus... I take a last smoke and watch the people getting on the bus... I say to Kirt 'Find us a seat!' I manage to talk to our bus driver, Nic - 30 year old Australian who was really looking forward to the next 12 days. He looked like he just taken a hit of cocaine, which worried me a little... until of course he said he just consumed 4 red bulls and 3 mars bars.
Kirt manages to find a seat which is sitting above the toilet, raised and overlooking the rest of the bust, of course we are now on show and the leg room is terrible. (This is the first and last time me and Kirt sit next to each other on the bus)
My sickness kicks in and I'm feeling like someone was knocking me senseless with a rubber glove filled with cement. I listen to our Tour Manager - short New Zealander who tucked his short in far too much... he seemed switched on. Amsterdam our first stop!
I switch on the Ipod and try and get some sleep, looking around the bus I'm sitting opposite two other Australians --- Hilly and Malks (finding out later the next couple days these the only other 2 single guys in my age bracket). Hilly's an ex rugby player who now coaches, seems like a bit of a joker and larriken and probably get along with, Malks is 31 year old PE teacher with a tickler under his bottom lip - down to earth and friendly.
We arrive at Dover and get on our boat to Calais... Kirt and I manage to find the bar and he buys the 3 for 5 quid beers and we sit down... I manage to just drink one and fall asleep on the couch, my sickness has reached drowsiness as I had consumed 3-4 Nurofen's.
People are starting to talk now when we get back on the bus, seems that their was another bar at the back of the boat and people congregated there and drank... not too fussed as I was so sick that I couldn't be buggered to talk. We start hearing what people do and starting chatting to people opposite to us on the way to Amsterdam. Good ice breakers and finding out if people are going on the river cruise tonight. 95% are... Kirt and I decide not to as we want to find a cafe!
We get to our hotel at night, told the arrangements when the bus leaves... I have a quick shower and feel a little refreshed from it... We manage to find a few people who weren't going on the river cruise.
Taimba - a south african who does adverts for music videos, Kelly - Australian living in London, Danielle - south african who was looking forward to the trip ahead.
We manage to find a cafe named the Bull Dog and after the consumption of Space Cake and a puff of purple haze we were all a little lucky go happy.... walking around Amsterdam we managed to find the infamous red-light district and there was talk of some of the rest of the crew going to a Live Sex Show as well. Bus pick up was 11pm and we managed to get on, I was not keen to go home! We had one guy which found us before we got on the bus and he was just hanging around us.... Kirt got freaked out when he boarded and went to the toilet... and said 'Hey mate you aren't with us...' Only to find out from someone else.. he was.. right embarrassment and I'm sitting there laughing. Poor Eric never forgave Kirt the entire trip.. however Eric was quiet anyhow.
Arriving back at the hotel we hit the sack... I feel like shit again and Kirt decides that it would be a good time to read.

Highlights Day 1:

• Finding out we had a female dominated Contiki tour
• Amsterdam first stop
• Cafe Bulldog

Still sick and sorry for myself that night and I knew that Amsterdam tomorrow was going to be bring me down a notch..... Sunshine, hang over and trying to find where the Heinekken museum was!

At the Bull Dog!