METAMORPHOSE
What's new? This Monthly's Funny Links Archives on the stories below. Be nice :)
Banner
|
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Useless
In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was notallowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker thanhis thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented.It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...andthus the word GOLF entered into the English language. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than theUS Treasury. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Men can read smaller print than women can; women canhear better. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Coca-Cola was originally green. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It is impossible to lick your elbow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Each king in a deck of playing cards represents agreat king from history:Spades - King DavidHearts - CharlemagneClubs -Alexander, the GreatDiamonds - Julius Caesar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If a statue in the park of a person on a horse hasboth front legs in the air, the person died in battle.If the horse has one front leg in the air the persondied as a result of wounds received in battle. If thehorse has all four legs on the ground, the person diedof natural causes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bedframes by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes themattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 yearsago that for a month after the wedding, the bride'sfather would supply his son-in-law with all the meadhe could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because theircalendar was lunar based, this period was called thehoney month ... which we know today as the honeymoon. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts...So in old England, when customers got unruly, thebartender would yell at them "Mind your pints andquarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase"mind your P's and Q's" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had awhistle baked into rim, or handle, of their ceramiccups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistleto get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phraseinspired by this fact. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Michael Jackson is guilty as sin! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At least 75% of people who read this will try to licktheir elbow make that 76% it cant be done. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary of the Gods - Jetblack |
|