I managed to eventually lock myself out of my house this morning, it being 1am and me knowing that it would eventually happen as I lost my key two weeks ago and relied on the housemates to open the door, but I managed to climb through a window (after Carlin suggested it on the phone, as I rang her to see if she was home, she wasn't) and I think I sustained possible injury to the groin area ---- as if you didn't know, windows in England only open from bottom out and up and me being the size I am you could imagine me swearing and abusing the window frame to try and get under and over it. I did get to a certain point where I could not imagine going backwards as I would have permanantly injured myself... so in the words of Kirk. I boldly went!

Where will I start about Thursday's adventures? Should I start with my punctuality at work... no, because as you all know I can never keep a good timekeeping! Should I bore you with my day at work? No because it was work and really who needs to know! Let me start with me finishing work.

Being shattered (as I was tired and did work quite hard today), I decided about 5pm (one hour to go til home time) that the best course of action for me was to go home, make a nice dinner and relax and go to bed at about 10pm like a good little wage-slave! 6pm and time to go home!!! Today is rent day, and Tania (our Bewdiful, and I'm serious about this!, blonde South African, land-lady) collects the rent! Not like I look forward to giving her my money and the only thing I see from her smile is a nice little receipt and no pleasure, but it's the day to empty my bank account and continue living in this vortex of London. Digress!!! I head down to the ATM, otherly known as the Cashpoint in England, and withdraw the sum, pocket the huge cashish and head to the tube.... only to bump into a couple of work people walking towards me... Now Erin (5 foot American, niave, from Northern Boston, currently part-time admin in the office, drank toooo much alcohol last Thursday and I've been laughing at her ever since, affectionately known to me as Indy [as in Indiana Jones] because she is studying Archelogy, and always looks at me as Sex-on-a-stick) says to me "Coming for a pint!", alongside her is Paul (Oxford boy, Ginga!! - I mean serious Ginga!!, good sense of english humour, rolls his own cigarettes for some reason) nods in my direction "How 'bout eet." Now when this happens to anyone, they usually have the split second reaction to answer a simple yes or no, me I have it high-tuned into scenario orchestrations, door number 1 = Luke will have a few bevies and early retirement to home, door number 2= Luke will have too many bevies and wake up tomorrow morning on someones floor and continue to hurl abuse at the world, himself, life and the floor which probably gave him a bad back ache, door number 3 = Luke will have bevies, meet some people, one a very interesting Swedish nurse who is somewhat infatuated with the thought of rubbing oil into her......... CHER-CHING!!!! I turn and walk with them not saying a word, they laugh knowing I cannot resist the urge to finish the day off with a beer with the work-crew.

Sure it's all good and plane sailing. We have a round of 3 (me being the last to buy, because I didn't go by my 'How to be a cheapskape in buying rounds' -- soon to be told). Then Erin looks at me and says "I'm meeting friends in Tottenham Court Road, come along." Split second decision insues... Door number 1 = NO! Luke must go home, it's Thursday and he must remain a wage-slave to the rest of mankind (I'm slightly drunk by now) Door number 2 = Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm [hic] Door number 3 = Luke turns up to a barrage of looks and smiles from loads of poor university students who look at him in his shirt and tie and think --- Money, good looks, charm, Australian (yes it works), and CHER-CHING!!!

In walks Luke, taking the short road to the bar, as it is always good to let your invitee to go mingle with her friends before you come trotting along. Buy the drinks and head on over, more attention to you and less attention to you being - yes I'm a numpty and I don't know you all! So here's me standing at a table of about 15 people and eyes of women (it's true) fixed on me. Incoming smirk and the Joey 'How you doing!'

I fired on all 8 cyclinders, Navarone guns blazing, 500cc engine throttle to max and pushed little red buttons in the right places... nothing but net! Now imagine Luke with a open hand (got the image????) now imagine women eating out of it!! It only happens to men every couple of months, and when it does it feels like the world is at your feet and you have control. I walked away with a few phone numbers, a couple emails and I handed off my number to couple other's... these being the ones I was interested in. I seem to do that more these days, give my number to the girl I like as I have found if they do like me, they ring me... if they don't, well I don't have to think about ringing them to find out if they do.

---Carlin read this and says "Ohh my gawd, I never knew you were so vain!" She walks out the door after I typed this and says "Luke ... swear!" Now she is Saffa and they have their own stupid lingo, 'swear' being the meaning of you have no shame and you should get a grip or something like that......................... so I said " FUCK! "

Anyhow I'm drunk and going to go to bed.

Positive things done today;
-Called Adam during lunch break. Hello Adam and Caroline!!!!
-Got my dismal pay check
-Hopefully organised Saturday/Sunday with Sam and whoever to watch Hero!! RAWR!
-Shaved my nads (kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) ................. that's next week!

Regret is the most futile of emotion