People writing about Valentine's Day tend be quite critical about the back-drop of how much of a high priced budget affair it can lead to. Society has conformed us enough to remind us on frequent occasion that today is the day not to be single and I can hear them laughing at me (or is that my other personality). The marketing drama queens make a mockery of every celebration there is in my "Western civilization", it was only the other week my colleague was eating Hot Cross Buns in January, and yes, I was jealous.

I look at the chance also that most singles possibly enjoy this day. Realizing it's a good time to come out of their own self invovled floundering into the rose-colored light of expressing themselves to each other. I do enjoy seeing people in love though, I am not that cynical.... yet. However I will draw the line when there is an expected sense of duty to perform last rites on your pride to a girl who is single and available, but doesn't dig my scrawny looks and tattered ego - often expressed with them walking the other direction.

How many women are wearing red today and didn't know it? Sure sure, you're celebrating Valentine's day, but are you also somehow attuning yourselves to the call of the wild and invoking the wrath of the male mating season on your doorstep? Are you stepping out into a bar tonight full of horny unattractive men who think tonight is their night because they may find themselves a "desperately seeking"?

Basic stats

• On average each person who celebrates spends an average of £83 according to a recent survey in London, and nearly a fifth of British men will buy a card 'because they feel they have to'
• In 2006 the National Retail Federation in the states estimated $13.7 billion is spent in USA alone
• It's probably the last thing most people think about when buying roses. But by the time the velvety, vibrant-colored flowers reach a Valentine's Day buyer, most will have been sprayed, rinsed and dipped in a battery of potentially lethal chemicals...

But it isn't all that bad is it?

• In Japan women buy the chocolate for men , furthermore they follow this up with White Day on March 14th where the men return the favor (probably with a wink and lift of the chin a couple of times)
• Of course the Chinese have something delightfully exotic - The Night of Sevens or Qi Xi, but I like the colloquial term of Magpie's Day where young girls traditionally demonstrate their domestic skills (like they don't do enough already?)
• In Iran - Sepandarmazgan - held on 29 Bahman is the day of love (Maybe George won't consider bombing Iran if he knew this?)
• On the 15th day of the Month of Av - Jewish tradition is to have the girls dress in white dresses and dance in vineyards where the boys would be waiting for them (I'm certain I was at a party like this last year which involved very loud music)
• The Brazilians celebrate on June 12th (This one has logged away for the next time I am trying to impress a Brazilian lass... I'm serious!)
• 'D­a del amor y la amistad' is celebrated in Columbia and Mexico much like a secret santa (where they set each other up with little bags of white powder and leave an anonymous phone call off to the Policia)
• Finland have a 'friends day' (Swinging is all that comes to my mind when I read this)
• Supposedly the birds and the bee's come out on the 12th of March in Slovenia to propose their love for each other - and they call it Saint Gregory's Day
• Dragobete - is in the calendar for Romania for the 24th February and the birdies get frisky (Gypsy love seems unattractive, if you can get passed the moustache you're halfway there)
• However what disturbed me, is some man named Jack could be knocking on the door of my house and wants to give me his sweets according to some of Norfolk's weird folk legends ( I'm sorry, but people get hospitalized for lesser things where I live)

But who and what is Valentine's Day ? Well it wasn't made up by the CEO's of Hallmark (as some people will love to tell you). But I'm betting my loveless left recently shaved nut that their coffers steadily increase each year, while saturating your life the reminder that you need to love someone. It is the second best profit making time for card's. We all tend to become a little overwhelmed with the hype of doing good deeds for our betrothed today, but as one would put it, I hope you do it a little more often then today.

The Anti-Valentine's lobby have announced that today is not the day to make love, so I'm guessing tomorrow they will back in the hot-seats. With their speed-dating nights, single dot com's and the whole array of how their heart's continue to be broken by those they entrusted them to. To the cynics out there who I have been reading in the eve leading up until today, I would like to congratulate you on enjoying another fun soaked day of being single and hopefully, enjoying it. One thing could be for certain. When you strap on that great big bullshit helmet hoping to catch a glimpse of crap on your radar, the question still comes out that highway of lonelinesss we all travel - Will you be getting any tonight?

My Valentine's present I received as an email today, has been more of a heart-break of anger and a impression of guilt on my part. Knowing that my encroaching and ever so unpopular destiny in London for the time being could possibly be snuffed. I still remember leaving 'someone' back at home and now knowing another guy will be spending money on her today. But, I've always lived in that dream world hoping she may well come around to her senses, and that's why I remain single and oblivious of our anxious decisions that us silly romantics effortlessly produce quite so well.

So with my £83, a low self esteem, a single outlook on love with that overwhelming desire to go to bed early, I've have decided that Jack may be entertaining me tonight after all, not with candy though. Sorry Dave, I know you're taking that girl of yours to the restaurant across the road from mine tonight, there still is a good possibility that Jack and I will be streaking by that window with love hearts attached to my bellend as promised.

All jokes aside interestingly enough, Valentine's Day was never based on the ephemeral pleasures of a single day. It originated in the Romans Lupercalia festival, held in honor of the god who protected their herds from wolves.

So I hope you may find some light in reading my depravity, as it isn't all that bad being single. You may have noone to be with tonight/tomorrow or next lunar cycle. There will always be those sharp fanged cynics out there willing to bite into the fabric of a day which celebrates, dare I say it, love and I feel we should all be more like shepherds to encourage a hug between friends and strangers.

If you take a chance
You risk failure
If you don't
You ensure it