• 3 Bums asking me for coin. They are now enjoying my cigarettes instead.
• 4 Tubes totally sardined before I get the fifth with a pregnant women
• 3 people getting here head whacked by closing doors and me sniggering at 2
• 1 person having foot caught and me laughing
• 1 Old man falling asleep on his bag while standing up and people watching him
• 1 Person picking his nose and examing, before noticing me and rubbing it on his suit
• 3 cute women in power suits, didn't notice me
• 10,000 zombie wage slaves looking into outer space
• One man nursing a broken cardboard box like a child
• A midget with a broken arm - hey you just notice them ok!
• My fly half unzipped (dammit) and trying to be inconspicuous
• Some guy with his headphones up to loud listening to some self help thing, I did happen to have my head next to his. I love it when this happens being 6 foot 4 and you bending your head down towards them, they just cower and I usually say in a lisp voice 'cozy isn't it' Freaks them out!
• A young guy in a suit picking his ears with his finger, sure that's ok... but smelling it. Realizing I sniggered out loud, he hopped it further down the tube

You know how smells remind you of places - I think I have written this before, but I will elaborate a little. I love the smell of a bakery, I remember being driven to my Nanna and Pop's in Camperdown, Sydney and we used to go past Arnotts, or walking past any bakery in the morning. Remember when you were a kid and you would walk into a friend's house and it smelt different, it didn't smell like yours even though you could never really recall what your house really did smell of, except when Mum was baking a slice. Butchers shop, you may cringe but I do love the smell of a butcher's shop when I was a kid it was more to do with the sawdust I think. Underneath my house in Merrylands, I just loved the musty damp smell of dirt and clay, hiding under there and playing with matches (no I didn't burn anything bigger then some paper) - I used to have this thing about charcoaling the edges of paper to make it look like a treasure map or something, looked cool until I melted some of the sole from my sneakers. New clothing, crisp clean and smells great. New car.. everything smells new and chemically and its just great.. until you take up smoking. Another you might cringe... smell of a puppy's breath, before they decide its fun to lick their arse or eat their feces, remember one of our dogs having a large litter and I had them crawl all over me and lick my face (I know my Dad would cringe at this, he has a phobia with dogs licking him).

Now you're saying where I'm going with all this... Some barstard farted on the tube, and sure it'll be ok if it was a fire and forget but this smell lingered like a homeless guy and your fresh packet of cigarettes. I think I busted a blood vessel straining to breath until I cracked it at the next station and said quite loud... 'You dirty fucker, get off the train whoever it was.' People actually stared at me like I did something wrong the entire way home. Don't stare at me, stare at the smelly barstard who decided it would be good to vent his Vindaloo!

Anyhow have to go see the housemates for our quiz night. We sit in front of quiz shows (I think it's Mastermind and University Challenge) and hurl terrible answers at the TV. Yeh it isn't nerdy, because I don't know jack when University Challenge comes on and starts talking about the Lavae of a Tropical Amazonian Catepillar .. not the rainbow variety though!

What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?