WHITEWOMEN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make
out a bit.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the
missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have
sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and
have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an
expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom
makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you
& insists on a 3-carat
ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together
& hate the thought of
having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.

JEWISH WOMEN:
First Date: You get terrific head.
Second Date: You get even more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and
never get head again.

CHINESE WOMEN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive
dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive
dinner. Nothing happens
again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date
and you've already realized
nothing is ever going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive
dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her
girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than
you.

MEXICAN WOMEN:
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get
drunk on Tequila, and have
sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her
mother, father, his
girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of
their kids, her grandma,
her father's girlfriend's mother, her two
cousins, her
sister's Boyfriend and his three kids move in and
you live on rice and beans
for the rest of your life.

ARAB WOMEN:
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters,
Cousins, Aunts,
Uncles, Friends and entire arab community finds
out.
Second Date: You are shot dead.