I've just grown accustomed to the ritual blessing of the European Hello to the femme whilst in London. The kiss on the cheek with a smile, not too wet and should really never be placed but exerted, a few times I have found my head slamming against the side of another girl (not my fault as they should never move). However, I am now noticing the slight turn of their head acknowledging they would like a secondary, usually also a sign that this lass is well out of your price range and will empty a wallet or two by the night is out.

I don't mind giving the ladies a kiss on the rosy red's, they usually talk to you after that, and we all know a lonely man in the bar with a scotch in one hand and looking lost is going to go home earlier than most. My experience in the Euro Kiss is getting to the point where I'm giving some good friends of mine a rub on the back as we go for the kiss on the cheek. Hell you say, a rub on the back you ponder, hey nobody told me the rules so I'm just making them up as I snog along. Do let me remind you all once again of my introduction to courting in London, was being inside a club and having my jewels squeezed by a number of women most of the night. I'd try to slip past them for another Scotch and Dry and no sooner as you could say 'How's the party' your tin soldier and drums are being manipulated into two wheels and an axle. So who knows give it another couple years and people be sniffing each others armpits or dry humping each others thigh. Buyers beware, the stupid people are out there wanting to create this bizarre Utopia.

I've digressed and nearly forgotten my whole subject.

No sooner had I got to grips with the kiss on the cheek, it's already moved up a boundary. I'm now getting kisses on the lips from girls. It isn't one of those French tonsil kisses like some of you guys might be thinking. But it's a quick peck on the lips, an evil sly grin from the banshee, and the more importantly the girls are initiating it. What is this some type of revolution, some hormonal imbalance currently going on with today's women, mistaking me for their boyfriend, who may I add is happily smiling oblivious (or maybe not, as it is quite possibly the hip thing to do at the moment) behind her waiting to shake your ... well no... hug you.

It usually only happens to me though with women I've known for a number of greetings. Maybe it's like a quota system. If I kiss them on the cheek for 10 visits I thus upgraded to two cheeks and a random peck on the lips.
"Excuse me do you have your rewards card, sir?"
I am a little afraid for the fact what happens when I run my quota up on that one. Will I need to carry my toothbrush with me?

"Hi Luke..."
"Hang on..." Toss in a TicTac, roll it around my tongue... have a squirl of mouthwash. "Okay, now you can say hello."

Where will this bizarre free love underground movement go. Will western men revolt and start kissing other men, they've been doing it for years in a number of places in the world. Will women catch onto the fact that my rub on there back will soon reach a slap on the ass? Do I really need to double kiss? Will there be inflated prices on fresh mints?

I'm all for the Venus taking the next step in the initiating ceremony of meeting Mars, but you're going to confuse a lot of those Martians if you start giving them a kiss on the lips and they eventually squeeze your Aphrodite!