I was going to write you some dismal life expression and tragic thoughts I have had tonight, due to probably thinking too much. But I won't bore you - why, because I found the avenue to not worry about it further.

I decided it was way overdue to contact home, so thinking that someone could possibly be at home at 8:45am in Sydney, I was therefore incorrect. So I sat there thinking who should I call before my brain burst's with the sudden emotion of high fidelity ( http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=high%20fidelity ) I was having and get sometimes with my life past and present....until this person springs to my mind, Kirt!

Waking him up from his slumber, all I get from the first instance of him grouchily saying.. 'Yeeh' (meaning hello in Kirt voice, and probably mine if I was woken up 2 hours after I got home from work) 'You awake?' I say.. what a totally stupid thing to say. People say these things without realising it don't they, of course he's awake. It's like when you walk out of somewhere and you come back into the room and state 'I'm back.' Or if you forgot your keys and you say 'Where would I be without these?'

Anyhow I say 'You awake?' and with typical Kirt humor which you can only grow to love, and him being one of the best mates put on this Earth to show me the enlightenment I need at such a hefty hour of the night and the slur of red wine in my veins --- 'You fuckn pommy barstard!'
Only a true friend will put him back into the place where he should be, and Kirt does that, bursts a bubble either positive or negativly charged and brings me crashing back to Earth with a sudden jolt. I don't presume I sound like a pom, but I will presume that it is possible due to the fact I spend 9-10 hours a day with them in a room, and calling a majority or them. So I guess you start pronouncing your words like the wankers anyhow... The Rrrrrrain in Spain falls mainly on the plain (roll your R's like a tosser).

On this note I remember that it's been a few months since I have spoken to Kirt, and it's good when you realise you have such a true friend that you don't have to worry about how long you have spoken to each other. Least the fact you catch up on exactly where you may have left off. True friends worry about each other, confide in each other, and spend a lifetime knowing each other. I truly believe that everyone evolves within the 'circles' of friends throughout their own lives, always meeting great people and losing contact within them because you find another group of great people. But the people who remain in your heart are the ones that connect to you, the ones you can spend a hour drinking, chatting or explaining things to and become true friends for that fact. Everyone has them, either it be their childhood mate, their work colleague who seems to know everything, their drinking partner at the local, their wife or husband or even that person which you never can really get a hold of when you want too.

Kirt puts me into perspective tonight, makes me realise I have some stuff to do, because he is coming to see me. I feel this a great privledge, as I was saying to Lindsey tonight (our weekly catch up) that it is rarely an instance where I may invite someone else out somewhere with friends of mine, but an usually the person that is asked to come along. You do not understand? Well thing is I believe that I'm one of those people that turns up to certain places and sheds a little of the light I have onto a party, sometimes it is bright (yes this is a metaphor and it doesn't shine out of my arse), sometimes it just is me just laughing in the corner, but I do connect with people. Rarely is the instance I would organise something for people, but when I do it happens well... see that... 'organise something for people'. Why do I organise it for people and not myself? It is not because I am still that 16 year old saying 'Nobody's is going to turn up to my party' and having a cry, it's just that I don't feel like being a centre of attention (so to speak). It's very hard to explain this in words, but it is a fact.

You know what I did for my birthday, even though I thought I might have a big one since I'm in London and organise something big for friends. I spent it in a pub with 2 work colleagues, and 3 of my housemates having a drink until midnight on a Thursday night. I did nothing for the weekend, it wasn't self pity, it was just that I couldn't be bothered celebrating... or was it that nobody wished to help my celebrate it more? I'm not caring about it... to a great degree. However I did get a great birthday present from someone.. mmmmm

People continue to say to me. 'Luke, when people meet you, they always enjoy your company. They say: Your cool, Your good looking, Your interesting, Your fun to be with, Your a great person. blah blah blah' It's really nice hearing this from people who have only known me for a short period, but they are just that circle of friends you come and evolve with (and no Lindsey you are 'True friend' also) .

It's people like Kirt who make you think no matter who you are, what you do, how many women you may score how popular or impractical you may become, how selfish you may perceive or how insecure you may believe, it's always that "You're still a fucking pom who watches that pansy wog-ball and can't believe you didn't watch the league grand-final, even though the doggies won and Fittler's a wanker anyhow"

Kirt you're a good mate and I look forward to spending Christmas, Edinburgh and fine times in Europe on the Contiki Liver/Kidney damaging experience.

AND NO I'M NOT GAY I'M JUST SENSITIVE ABOUT MY DO!