There are 4 things you need to know about Venice.

1) It's sinking
2) It's expensive
3) Take a camera
4) Pigeon shit

Arriving in Venice from an exhausting 4-5 hours journey sitting next to Lorna.. must say though I had the best sleep on the bus the entire time, we both curled up together and went to sleep for about 2-3 hours when we came out of the Northern Italian Alps.... ahh bliss.

So arriving in Venice I have forgotten to take my camera out of the bag and therefore cannot show you shots of this great little number on our journey. I did however pay for some overpriced exposable camera to take random shots (yet to be developed).

You need to catch a ferry across to Venice, and when we arrived we found that there will be a Contiki bus shadowing our moves for the next couple days. My eyes wander because I know full well these people will be at Florence for the night club experience. ie. Debauchery, nakedness, snogging and rooting in the ute (so to speak). There isn't a bad selection.

I manage to crawl up to the top deck of our ferry and look out onto Venice. Such a wonderful and medival looking place, little boats driving everywhere with the occasional gondala floating outside on the larger canals. I've come up with a saying which you need to say in a german accent... 'How do you zay? Up zee poo?' Don't know where it has come from, but I have half the bus saying it by the end of the Contiki trip. So I'm sitting on top deck making and cracking jokes about how drunk people have got, not to mention how drunk I have got. I'm hanging around Malks more often at the moment, as Lorna has given me the flick (maybe because I stank of booze) and Hilly Lorna and Brooke have formed a unit. Day 5 and people are forming little units, I'm just a dirty slut and usually tag and say hello to everyone. So Malks, the three hobbits (Sascha, Leise & Jane), Kirt, Taimba, Missy and the police couple Leiamba and Jim (yes two married police from Cabramatta.. very funny) all singing and being merry on a ferry into Venice.

We arrive on the docks and walk to the famous square - Procuratie Vecchie - which is dominated by a very famous church - Basilica San Marco. Inside it isn't all that crash hot, but outside it is very lovely backdrop. Now I'm seeing pigeons.. lots of them.. I'm counting about 1,000 of them all flying around and there are children and there are parents with corn (which you buy from a vendor for 2 euro) and they are pegging this corn at their kids, kids are screaming and pigeons are flocking them.. they have no fear (story to come). I'm laughing so hard at these 3 girls cornered up on these steps while these pigeons are jumping up the step to come to them and they are screaming so hard I can hardly hear Gerry tell us what we are doing.

We finally go to a glass blowing exhibition and see some dude make a horse in 20 seconds. It looked cool.. worth going to see I suppose. Didn't buy any expensive glass from the sales assistant toss them down and tell us how famous the red color is in Venice. So I gather the troops for our Gondola ride and I head down to the square. Look through the church and we have 45 minutes until the Gondola ride so I disappear to the pigeons and hand over the 2 euro... Before I open the bag I am flocked by at least 20 pigeons, on my arms, head, body clinging to me and pecking and scratching the living shit out of me... one of the pigeons has torn open the bag and has it's head stuck inside... I'm laughing. There is a man lying on the ground covered with them .. I can't see him.

So I'm looking around, evil in my eyes and see the hobbits laughing at me and taking pictures. I walk up to Leise and grab her throw corn into her hood and a pigeon dives into the hood and I tuck the pigeon in... Leise is now screaming running around this square with this pigeon stuck in the back of her hood, a wing flapping out. Sascha is laughing so hard she didn't see me come up behind her and do the same thing. I have these two runs running around the square now being chased by a number of pigeons and 1 stuck in each of there hoods. Some more Contiki people turn up and back away every time they see me. I walk up to some American girls with a smile .. they smile and laugh.. I throw corn there way and about 30 pigeons rush in.. hilarious!!! Sadistic but so funny I'm pissing myself. I'm chasing complete strangers around this square with my weapon of corn and 300 pigeons as cannon fodder!

I see Malks... Malks is filming me and taking shots.. then I walk towards him he steps back, he turns and runs.. I'm running after him with a shit load of pigeons running after me. People are parting like the Red Sea and Malks is saying 'Fuck off!!! NO!' Malks runs into the church saying.. 'I hate birds.. I hate birds!!!!' I back away from his phobia until people start gathering for the Gondola ride. By this time I have run out of corn and now got a bottle of vino for the ride. Walk up behind Malks and go 'YARRR' He jumps and runs through the Contiki crowd screaming... He laughed afterwards at me, but I will not say what he said to me before that...

Never got shat on though.. however little Jayne our only England represent from Exeter got this massive white mark on her back. Amusing as it looked like a fashion statement.

Gondola rides are an experience, especially sitting with people who are drunks. I'm doing this red wine (it's near turned to ice as its so damn cold) and taking some very nice pictures of these little offshoot canals. However our little punter didn't sing, so we decided to. He rocked the boat once and I nearly shat myself.

Finishing the ride there was some walking to be had. I split from the rest and decided to go alone and then bumped right back into them 30 minutes down the track. Had some coffee and then walked some more. Half of the tour went to a dinner the other half went and found there own meal (ie. me). Found this cheap Pizza place run by people from China who spoke Italian... highly wierd!

BEST GELATO COMES FROM VENICE!!! So cold.. but so delish!

Getting back on the ferry we are back on the top deck, the pilot has the radio on and I'm dancing to some techno with some of people... laughing at stories and joking around.

We had our hotel outside of Venice (a shame as I would think some of the nightlife would be amazing in the place, but knowing my luck I'd end up in the water and half drown myself). I decide to round up people for drinks.. only manage to get Kirt, Malks, Missy, Taimba, Ange (from Canada) and Canadian Jessica (who I think Kirt is starting to get the eye for). It's foggy outside... so foggy I can hardly tell where I am walking...

We manage to find a cafe which served beer and we sat there eating potato chips... best thing about Italy is you get crisps there and there are these little toys in them. I manage to come back with a bag full of toys by the end of Contiki. Hand puppets, playdo, Pouches and a little poodle (named Ralph and hanging above my computer at the moment)

Ralph rocks my world!

This cafe it quite dingy but being 10pm at night, we came to the conclusion that Italian's don't drink... we certainly did and went home very tipsy. Was a good little get together with everyone telling a little about themselves a bit more. Ange had been in the Canadian Navy for 3-4 years and had just come out and moving back home she hadn't seen for 2 years and this place that when it snows.. it actually snows you in and you have to dig yourself out when you open your front door.

I headed back to our room, to find that someone had broken on of the elevators. Kirt tells me that it was stuck and they (I cannot tell you their names as I have been sworn to secrecy) forced it open to get young Steph out.... it was forced alright.. the doors were hanging askew somewhat. I manage to hit the sack at about 12am.. highly tired and a rosy smile on my face from such a good day in Venice. I'm feeling better, still coughing up nice coloured phelgm and a few coughs, but I have noticed people getting ill all around me now.

Whoops :)

Off to Rome tomorrow... and I think I may even get to breakfast! Rome .. 2 days.. weather forecast looks ok too! We have been blessed already why not continue our fun!

Kirt is swearing too.. he is starting to cough too....

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Apologies for the late update on Contiki tour, but I have just started being a HR Consultant for the Borough of Ealing. Had a bit of a downer the last couple weeks where I kinda left my old job and moved on to this one. Been straighening a lot of my shit out in the meantime and going to some crazy parties with the boys.
Last weekend I decided to take it easy and hang out with Little Al and Andy in Ealing. Got mighty trashed with Little Al and I don't think we fell asleep until 6am Saturday. We rang up Rob back in Sydney and he didn't recognise me talking.. I suppose after a year and a half you see a weird number on your mobile and go WTF! Cheers mate!
Was suppose to head out with Simone (met her at Faithless) on Sunday however she cancelled last minute and I was none too phased as I was still very hung over... so I chilled with lil ol Lindsey and watched Collateral... good movie.. and some fine acting!
This week I find myself at work and not doing too much this coming weekend... BULLSHIT!

Friday -> Abacus (ala Trendy of the Trend clubs) to meet up with some of the Elite crew as Narelle is heading home... bless
Saturday -> Kirsty invited me to Wax (Trendy and damn expensive)... however I may miss it as there is a house party too.. also been invited to see a band (choice #1)...
Sunday-> The Church (no it's bar where Australians go and well it's just a weird place to be) has been put on the agenda from some lasses .. I won't be there.. but it's nice to be invited.

Next month for March I will be paying off Credit card bills and saving some of my well earned cash. Thinking about hitting up Prague for the weekend in the end of April... anyone want to come.

Mental notes and random reflections:

• Liv from Sydney arrives this week
• Little Al flies home in April and his Girl from Europe arrives in May
• Lucy just got back from Sydney
• Wilko is heading home for 3 months Mid-March
• Bradders has finally decided he is gay! j/k
• Sam is finding it hard to cope with all the women, especially when he has too many of them that he can't decide on which.. OH and he's growing a beard!!! (see photo gallery)
• Horses girlfriend finally arrived around Australia Day (see photo gallery)
• DeeDee is finding the single life in London great and I found his camera!
• Must catch up with Chloe, Lauren, Simone, Carly, Alex, Helen, Shez (that's a guy too), Alberta, Pacino and Leise
• Yes mum .. must ring Monica!

I shall leave y'all with this - it's old and I haven't written for months.. hope you are all well and I'm missing home terribly.

Drowning

Lungs filled with fire

Clawing at the sky remaining

Looking up through the murky darkness

Brilliant clear bubbles escaping

Weighed down by doubt

Hoping to taste that air

Sinking hopes, rising fear

Who's left to care?

The sunshine is fading black

Against my cloudy silhouette

Slipping down into coldness

Memories about to forget

Closed eyes collecting thoughts

Scorching pain is overtaking

Then sleep against thy willpower

No life left worth making

Resting on the gritty bed

Eyes wipe open wondering why

One thought remaining

Why didn't he try?